reanbean

Snippets

I’m finally feeling back to my old self again. Finally. I’ve taken all the meds (7 days of eye drops, 10 days of antibiotics, and couch medicine and inhaler as needed), and the sore throat and cough are finally gone. Without the cough, I should be sleeping soundly through the night again, but alas, the night wakings continue (more on that later). I haven’t been to the gym in two weeks (since the sickness kicked in), but I’m planning to make my grand re-entrance tonight. I’d been back to going 4-5 nights a week since the end of March, and as of May 21st, I was up to 226.9 miles on my 500 miles in 2010 goal. I suppose I’ll need to ease back into my workouts, but hopefully in a week or so, I’ll be back on track again.

Today was week 5 of drop-off playgroup for Buba and Tiny. We didn’t have playgroup last Monday due to the holiday, but I did leave the kids at childcare when I went to book club on Friday. They both did fine there for almost 90 minutes, so I decided it was time to try leaving for a bit during playgroup today. We arrived about 5 minutes late, and both kids walked right in and started in with activities. I talked briefly with the teachers about my plans to leave and what to do to help soothe Buba should he be upset about my absence. My understanding is that he was fine until he got spooked by some loud noises in the music area, and that’s when Buba lost it. But still, I got to spend almost 30 minutes down in the waiting room by myself before needing to return to take my place at the mommy bench. And that seems like huge progress to me. Plus, Buba was totally fine with going to circle time and snack time this week. Yes, I still had to accompany him, but he didn’t cry as he had during previous weeks.

Buba is still wearing undies during the day. He is now telling me when he has to go, or will just go to the potty in our house and go all by himself. He has very few pee accidents and no poop accidents. However, he still will only poop in a diaper at nap and/or nighttime. I’ve tried enticing him with a reward and putting him on the potty right before nap and nighttime, but still no successes in that department. Maybe by the end of summer, I hope…

Tiny continues to wake at night on a fairly regular basis (maybe 4-5 nights a week). At first I thought is was bad dreams, then I thought it was out of need to use the potty. I am no longer convinced that it is either of these things. T and I have been taking turns going in to soothe them (because inevitably, Buba always wakes up too), and it usually just takes a minute or two, but the fragmented sleep definitely isn’t good for any of us. I’ve begun reading the months 22-36 section in the Weissbluth sleep book, and we may try to implement some of the strategies in there. This week I’ll just be collecting data so I know for sure exactly how often the night wakings are occurring.

I’m way, way behind on my blog reading again (especially on those with daily or multiple posts each week), but I hope to catch up soon. Many thanks to Mandy from My Life as Described by Twin Trials and Triumphs for passing on the Trendy Blog Award. We’ve recently bonded through our only-child-all-grown-up-and-now-raising-twins connection and have enjoyed swapping book and CD titles. If you haven’t already checked out her site, you definitely should!

Potty Training: I Wouldn’t Use the Word “Trained” Yet

It has been almost three weeks since we started our second attempt of potty training with Buba. He hasn’t worn a diaper during waking hours since April 16th, but I certainly wouldn’t used the word trained to describe what we’ve got going on. Yes, he does pee in the potty, but he does not yet tell us when he has to go.

So, it’s like this: All day long I’m saying, “Remember to tell Mommy when you have to use the potty. Keep your big boy underpants dry and clean.” And most of the time Buba’s response is, “No.”, meaning he doesn’t have to go. Sometimes he’ll say, “Need go potty.” And then he’ll go to the potty and go. But if it so happens that I don’t suggest that he tell me when he needs to go, at a time when he actually needs to go (make sense?), he’ll have an accident. And he hasn’t pooped in the potty since day one. He waits for his nap or nighttime diaper, and then wakes up with a rash all over his bum.

There are certain times of the day when I’ll insist that Buba sit on the potty and try to go (before we leave the house, before bath, and before nap or nighttime diapers are put on). He doesn’t resist these requests, and nine times out of ten, he will go. Buba has only had one accident outside of our home, and he seems really proud of the fact that he’s wearing big boy underpants. But the accidents don’t seem to phase him one bit. And man, is it exhausting to be reminding him all day long.

I asked Buba one day after he’d had three accidents in a short period of time (it was really hot, so I’d given him a lot of water to drink) if he’d rather wear diapers all the time, and his answer was, “I wear big boy unna pants. I making pee ina potty.”

So where does this leave us? In all honesty, I’m not really sure. For those who have potty trained children or who are currently working on it, what do you think? Are we on the right track? Is the constant need for reminding just par for the course? And how the heck do I get him to poop in the potty?

Potty Training: At the Beginning Again

Back in January, T and I decided to start potty training with Tiny. Initially, I wasn’t too structured in my approach, but after talking with another MOT friend, I decided to try the 3-Day Potty Training method. We didn’t exactly follow the plan to a T, but it worked amazingly well. It worked so well, that we decided to try the same approach with Buba the following weekend. But the exact same approach did not equal fast and easy potty training for Buba, and we actually decided (at the end of day 2) to throw in the towel and try again later.

It is now three months later. For three months, Buba has been watching Tiny use the potty. He talks about the potty. Tells us all about what it’s for. And recently has started asking for some “big girl panties”. So we decided to try the potty training again now that  T is home on spring vacation. I’ll admit right now that T was more gung-ho about it than I was. There was some hesitation in me, not as convinced about Buba’s readiness as I was when we started with Tiny.

We had planned to start the potty training on Saturday, but on Friday, I ended up being home with the kids for most of the day, so I figured why not just give it a go now. I took off Buba’s diaper, gave him a big sippy cup of water, and just waited for the teaching moments to begin. We certainly were not accident free, but Buba completely surprised me with how successful he was.

Day two started off with a big, wet accident, but after that, we were good. And day three went really well too. But now we’re on day four, and today hasn’t gone well at all. Only one success mid-morning and several changes of underwear. Grrrrrr.

I know that Buab is still very young (some might say too young), but I really don’t want to give it up just yet. As frustrating as today has been, I’m just so worried that it will be even harder down the road. T and I have talked about it, and together we decided that we’ve definitely been way more lax this time, and we probably have not been attentive enough today. We’ll go back to those strategies that worked in those initial days and see what a few more days of practice might bring. If Buba continues to do this well or better, I think I’ll be able to keep the training efforts going even after T’s spring break is over. But if it doesn’t work out, I know I’ll have no trouble admitting that this just isn’t his time. So, for now, it’s just a wait-and-see kind of thing.

Potty Training: 5 Weeks Later

It’s been about 5 weeks since we started potty training with Tiny. I know, for many, potty training is a process. I’ve read enough blogs to know that some kids take weeks, even months, before they really get the hang of it. Thankfully, that has not been our experience with Tiny. She has done extremely well, and I’ve had absolutely no regrets regarding ditching the diapers.

As you probably remember, we went with the three-day plan. Tiny had done very well in those first three days, but I was still very nervous about leaving the house. Would she tell me when she had to go? Would she use the travel potty I’d purchase? Luckily, the answer to both questions was yes. I can’t say that she hasn’t had a single accident since we ditched the diapers, but thankfully all but one has been at home. And all within the first week after our potty training weekend.

So, at five weeks out, we’re in a pretty good groove. If we’re at home, I don’t have anything to worry about. Tiny will independently go to one of her potties and use it without any prompting or help from me. Sometimes I don’t eve know that she’s gone until she comes up to me with her panties and pants in her hands, asking for help. Tiny is alway willing to sit on the potty before we leave the house, and 8 times out of 10 she’ll go at least a little. If we’re out and about, she’ll tell me when she needs to go. During the first few weeks, there were a large number of false alarms. Personally, I think she just wanted to get a look at the bathrooms of all the places we frequent. But we’ve had fewer and fewer false alarms in the last two weeks. On one occasion, when I was pretty certain that she did not need to go, I told her there was no bathroom where we were shopping, so she’d just have to wait, and she dropped the potty request instantly. (I now know that she’ll whine and cry if she really, really has to go.) Although she’s doesn’t get terribly upset when she has an accident, she takes great pride in being able to keep herself dry and clean all day.

But the cutest thing ever is how she cheers for herself when she uses the potty. As part of the training process, we gave tons and tons of praise (no M&Ms and very few stickers- but that’s for another post)- lots and lots of ” Yay!” and “You did it!” along with “Tiny went pee in the potty! Tiny went pee in the potty!” So now, when Tiny uses the potty all by herself, she takes her Abby Cadabby doll with her, and has Abby cheer for her and give her hugs and kisses when she’s all done.

And although Buba is still in diapers, and we’ve not continued any of the three-day techniques with him, he’s still very interested in Tiny’s use of the potty. Buba often comes with us when we empty Tiny’s potty into the toilet, and he still claps and cheers with the same amount of enthusiasm as he did on day one. Buba likes to sit (with diaper off) on the potty twice a day (first thing in the morning and right before bed), but hasn’t produced anything yet. When he gets up from his potty, he says, “Empty. No pee. I’ll try again later.”

So, what can I say. I’m pretty happy with how things have been going. I know that there can still be some bumps in the road. While Tiny wakes up dry from naps, she still very much needs a diaper at nighttime. And just because Tiny trained so easily doesn’t mean that Buba will as well. But that’s okay. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Potty Training: Take Two?

When T and I decided to start potty training with Tiny, it was an easy decision to make. I had done a bit of research and knew that she was showing at least a few signs of readiness. Buba, on the other hand, was showing zero signs of readiness. And so we decided that we would just focus on Tiny and wait until Buba was ready. However, after trying the three day plan (with some modifications), and having such great success with Tiny, we figured why not give it a try with Buba. After all, the three day plan says a child need not show signs of readiness as long as the child is 22 months or older. So we decided to go for it. Three more days at home and big kid underpants for all.

Unfortunately, potty training with Buba this past weekend was not as successful as the weekend before with Tiny. We stayed right by his side and watched him like a hawk, but still had an extremely hard time getting him to be successful on the potty. And the few times that we did get him there in time to praise his efforts, he could not have cared less. Twice he tried to get up from the potty in mid-pee to go off and play. There just seemed to be no connection for Buba that he had control over his bodily functions and that he could make them happen while sitting on the potty.

We stuck with it for the weekend, but by Saturday afternoon, I knew that I would not be going ahead with day three. I am even more convinced now that Tiny’s quick success with potty training had more to do with the fact that she was ready than the combination of methods I used. Being consistent in helping her practice using the potty that weekend made all the difference in potty training her, but in the end, I truly believe that she was easy to potty train because she was ready to do it.

I know that someday Buba will be ready too. It might be in a few weeks or it could be months away. In the meantime, I’ll continue watching for those readiness sings. And once he’s ready, we’ll try again.

Potty Training: The Weekend Update

The kids and I have not left the house since Friday afternoon. At the suggestion of my readers, I decided to take a look at the 3 Day Potty Training plan. There were parts that I liked, as well as parts that I chose to ignore. But the bottom line is, Tiny is out of diapers (except for naptime and nighttime).

We started right away on Saturday morning. I told Tiny that she was no longer going to wear diapers anymore, except for naps and nighttime sleep. Instead, she would wear her big girl panties and use the potty. Tiny seemed much in agreement with this plan so we were good to go. She had a successful experience on the potty before getting dressed, and was over the moon with all the praise she got. Even Buba clapped his little hands and shouted, “Yaaaaaaaay!”

After breakfast, I gave Tiny some water to fill up her bladder and give us more opportunities to practice getting to the potty. We had four pretty major accidents within about two hours time, and I was definitely feeling frustrated. I knew that I needed to be cheerful and encouraging as I constantly reminded her to let me know when she needed to use the potty, so I did my best to keep it up. Roughly 5 hours into day one, Tiny looked at me and timidly said, “potty.” Of course, I scooped her up and ran to the potty chair. I nearly knocked her over trying to pull her training pants down. Then I helped her sit down on the potty and sat their holding my breath…

SUCCESS!!! We were all going nuts with praise. Tiny was beaming from ear to ear. And it seemed that that one moment turned our whole day around. Tiny still had two more major accidents before the day was over, but for the first time, I felt certain that she was learning. She was beginning to make the connection between realizing she needed to go and understanding that she would allow her body to release while sitting on the potty.

Day two went splendidly well with only one major accident and one minor one. And day 3 (today), so far, not one single accident (knock on wood). She even put herself on the potty after lunch while I was cleaning up Buba. I turned around, and there she was, pointing to the potty and saying, “Ma clean it!”

I can’t say for certain that it was the 3 Day Potty Training plan itself that worked for us. After all, I had already done (and in some cases continue to do) several things that Lora Jensen advises against. Plus, I ignored some of the advice that I knew I just couldn’t carry out. But I do think it was a combination of readiness and consistency that helped us get to the place where we are now.

Of course, I know there will be more accidents, and getting out and about may be a bit challenging for a while, but I’m so glad I decided to press ahead with the potty training. One down, one to go…

Potty Training: Thought Process and Implementation

About two weeks ago, I mentioned that I might be ready to start potty training with Tiny. She was showing some of the readiness signs- telling me when she needed a diaper change, pulling down her pants by herself, talking about the potty and big girl panties- and a couple of family members had commented that it might be time for us to attempt to ditch her diapers. I was willing to try, even somewhat excited to begin the process, but had no idea how to begin.

So, I looked through some parenting books geared towards the toddler years* and skimmed the Mayo Clinic’s potty training web pages (at Sadia’s suggestion). Of course, I found a ton of interesting information. However, the more I read, the more conflicting information I found. Some authors/experts believed that toddlers weren’t really ready for potty training until age 2 or older, while another boasted that potty training could begin as early as 9 months with success for some by 12 months. Some felt it was important for potty training to be self-initiated by the child, while another felt it was the parent’s job to introduce and teach the child how to use the potty. The pro early-training author said that once upon a time, the majority of toddlers were potty trained by 18-24 months and that disposable diapers and busy parents had created the trend of potty training kids in their 2′s and 3′s. And still, another author said that no parent should really be concerned about potty training issues until his/her child was older than 4. It was enough to make my head spin. Was Tiny ready or was she still to young? It seemed I might not really know until we gave it a try.

And so we did. Monday, the diaper came off after breakfast and I spent most of the morning cleaning up accidents all over the house, as well as logging all the times we sat on the potties and all the times the accidents occurred. We spent lots of time sitting on the potties and reading books about kids who were learning how to use the potty, and just before bedtime, Tiny had her first successful experience on the potty. And while I knew that there were most likely many more clean-ups in my future, this one little success story gave me hope that my decision to give potty training a try was not completely crazy.

The following three days were much the same. Tiny has had 1-2 successful potty experiences each day, but there are still more accidents than success stories. And she’s not particularly bothered by the accidents. She’ll tell me that she’s wet or that there is a “mess, mess, mess!” to clean up, but she’s not at all upset that she’s had an accident.

So I’m feeling very conflicted about how to proceed at this point. I know it’s only day 4, but part of me is thinking that I may want to abort this potty training plan for a while and try again in a few weeks. Although she’s been successful a handful of times when I’ve had her sit on the potty, she’s clearly not able to tell me when she needs to go. However, I’m wondering, if we go back to diapers, how will she learn? After all, most milestones take time and practice. Are accidents an important part of the practice that will eventually lead to independent success? Who knows!

Anyhow, my current plan (unless someone out there has some brilliant advice for me) is to stick with potty training through the weekend. If our success rate doesn’t improve, and if Tiny continues to rely on me telling her when it’s time to sit on the potty, then we may just put potty training aside for a while and try again later.

Please wish me luck. I’m going to need all I can get.

*resources: The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems (by teaching you how to ask the right questions) by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau, The First Two Years by Benjamin Spock, M.D., Toddler 411 (2nd Edition) by Denise Fields and Ari Brown, M.D.

Meltdown with a Capital M

We started our attempts to potty train Tiny yesterday (more on the thought process behind that decision and implementation later). So, today was day two, and just like yesterday, I let Tiny spend most of the morning diaper free. However, unlike yesterday, today she completely freaked out and had a major, MAJOR meltdown when I went to put a diaper on her just before lunch.

Tiny had just had a successful attempt on the potty (YAY!) and I explained to her that I was now going to put her diaper on so she could eat lunch and then be all ready for nap time, which immediately follows. Diaper changes before lunch have been a part of our routine for a while now, so I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal. Oh, but it was. Tiny’s response went something like this, “No, no, no, no, no, no, no! No diaper! NO!” followed by just a lot of kicking and screaming. She was hitting me as I did my best to get the diaper fastened around her little bum, and started clawing at the diaper as soon as I had it on.

I quickly pulled up her pants, thinking once it was all said and done, she’d calm down. But, of course, I just couldn’t be that lucky today. Because although Tiny was now okay with having her diaper on, she had, at some point during that tantrum, decided that she needed to have her socks and shoes on. And here’s the kicker: she had to put them on by herself (hmmmm…. can’t say I wasn’t warned about this phase.) More screaming and more crying erupted as it became crystal clear that Tiny just wasn’t capable of such a task. I tried to help, but that (as I’m sure you already know) was not in the least bit helpful.

I tried to cuddle her and clam her, I tried walking away, I tried talking matter-of-factly about the situation, but the tantrum continued on for a good 25-30 minutes. Finally, I just put her in her high chair and plopped her lunch in front of her. She remained unsatisfied.

Just as I was about to start lunch clean up, she requested Cheez-Its in a pink bowl. Now, generally, I go by the philosophy that you get what you get at mealtimes, and you either eat it or you don’t. But this didn’t seem like too big of a request, so I caved. And oh how magical that little pink bowl of Cheez-Its turned out to be. The screaming and crying ceased, and just like that, she was my cheerful, little Tiny again. Whoa!

Tiny happily ate her crackers and then proceeded to eat a bit of her lunch as well. I kept waiting for the tantrum to resume, but it never did. Lunchtime ended, we read books, and Tiny and Buba went down for their naps just as they always do.

We Have the Potties…

In all honesty, I never expected to begin potty training before Tiny and Buba turned 2. I’m not sure why, but I guess I assumed that potty training happened sometime after 2 and before turning 3. But I’ve heard more than once, and from more than one person, that Tiny seems to be ready to begin the process. And strangely enough, I feel like I’m in a place where I’m ready to give it a go. We’ve got the potties and training pants are on the way. But other than having the supplies, I’m really not sure how this is supposed to go.

So, I guess I’m looking for advice regarding the whole potty training experience. In particular, I’m just not sure how to introduce the potty and teach Tiny (and perhaps Buba too, although he doesn’t appear as ready as she does) what its purpose is. How will I get her to understand that that is where I want her to do her business instead of in the diaper? And how do I get her to have successful experiences on the potty?

And then there are the worries to address. For example, I’ve heard once you stop diapers, you should never go back, but what about naps and nighttime? Tiny is not even close to the smallest pull-up size, so won’t we have to continue to use diapers for naps and nighttime?

I suppose there are parenting books out there that address this process, and perhaps that is where I should begin. But in the meantime, if you’ve done it and you have a book recommendation and/or advice to pass along, I’ll gladly take it.