One Year Later

In early June 2009, Buba was found eligible for Early Intervention (EI) services. We’d asked for him to be evaluated because our pediatrician noted that he had a slight speech and language delay. Since that type of delay runs in our family, T and I knew that we wanted to act on services as soon as possible, to hopefully avoid further trouble in that area down the road.

However, when the EI team evaluated Buba, they also found a significant fine motor delay. Buba was not yet clapping and almost never used his left hand. While I was aware of these things, the news that he would also need occupational therapy (OT) on top of speech and language services (SP/LA) caught me off guard, and it took some time for me to come to terms with it.

Buba started working with an EI educator (for SP/LA services) and an occupational therapist in July of 2009 after we’d returned from our family vacation. Within just a few weeks, his speech improved dramatically, but his motor skills were not improving as quickly, and it was really tough for me to take in all the information his therapist was giving me about his difficulties with balance, sensory integration, and motor planning. There were several times when I would break down into tears after his sessions, because I just felt that I wasn’t doing enough to help him practice in those areas when we were at home on our own. At the same time, I just couldn’t believe that he was as impaired in those areas as his therapist was saying. Yes, he had trouble getting clothing on and off, but He’s just a little boy! I would think to myself. It also bothered me that the therapist didn’t often acknowledge when he had made gains. And if she did, it was often followed by something new that she’d noticed he now needed to work on.

So, I was kind of excited when I found out that a completely new team of EI staff members would be taking on Buba’s one-year evaluation (which was yesterday). I just wanted to see how he would be viewed by different therapists who’d had no previous experiences with him. The way I see it, Buba has made huge gains in both SP/LA and OT, but I wondered how the evaluation team would seem him.

It turns out that they saw what I see. In fact, he did so well with all the tasks and activities used to assess his skills that they found him to be ineligible for EI services. He has 45 more days to be phased out of the program, and then that’s it. Needless to say, this news was quite exciting! I mean, what parent doesn’t want to hear that their child no longer has any significant developmental delays?

But the sad thing is that our playgroup is through EI, and that may have to come to an end as well. We’ll try working with EI to see if Buba and Tiny can remain in the group as community kids (kids without delays who attend playgroup- technically, Tiny already is one), but it all depends on the numbers, and I have a feeling that there are already quite a few community kids in the group. We’ll continue going at least through July (which is part of our 45 days) and then just see what happens from there.

All in all, I can’t say enough good things about EI. Even with my issues with Buba’s occupational therapist, I still felt like everyone who has worked with my kids has been excellent and has had my kids’ best interests in mind (Tiny worked briefly with an EI nutritionist last summer). And while I do think there were other factors involved, I don’t doubt that the EI staff has played a huge role in helping Buba to be the amazing kid that he is today.

Snippets

I’m finally feeling back to my old self again. Finally. I’ve taken all the meds (7 days of eye drops, 10 days of antibiotics, and couch medicine and inhaler as needed), and the sore throat and cough are finally gone. Without the cough, I should be sleeping soundly through the night again, but alas, the night wakings continue (more on that later). I haven’t been to the gym in two weeks (since the sickness kicked in), but I’m planning to make my grand re-entrance tonight. I’d been back to going 4-5 nights a week since the end of March, and as of May 21st, I was up to 226.9 miles on my 500 miles in 2010 goal. I suppose I’ll need to ease back into my workouts, but hopefully in a week or so, I’ll be back on track again.

Today was week 5 of drop-off playgroup for Buba and Tiny. We didn’t have playgroup last Monday due to the holiday, but I did leave the kids at childcare when I went to book club on Friday. They both did fine there for almost 90 minutes, so I decided it was time to try leaving for a bit during playgroup today. We arrived about 5 minutes late, and both kids walked right in and started in with activities. I talked briefly with the teachers about my plans to leave and what to do to help soothe Buba should he be upset about my absence. My understanding is that he was fine until he got spooked by some loud noises in the music area, and that’s when Buba lost it. But still, I got to spend almost 30 minutes down in the waiting room by myself before needing to return to take my place at the mommy bench. And that seems like huge progress to me. Plus, Buba was totally fine with going to circle time and snack time this week. Yes, I still had to accompany him, but he didn’t cry as he had during previous weeks.

Buba is still wearing undies during the day. He is now telling me when he has to go, or will just go to the potty in our house and go all by himself. He has very few pee accidents and no poop accidents. However, he still will only poop in a diaper at nap and/or nighttime. I’ve tried enticing him with a reward and putting him on the potty right before nap and nighttime, but still no successes in that department. Maybe by the end of summer, I hope…

Tiny continues to wake at night on a fairly regular basis (maybe 4-5 nights a week). At first I thought is was bad dreams, then I thought it was out of need to use the potty. I am no longer convinced that it is either of these things. T and I have been taking turns going in to soothe them (because inevitably, Buba always wakes up too), and it usually just takes a minute or two, but the fragmented sleep definitely isn’t good for any of us. I’ve begun reading the months 22-36 section in the Weissbluth sleep book, and we may try to implement some of the strategies in there. This week I’ll just be collecting data so I know for sure exactly how often the night wakings are occurring.

I’m way, way behind on my blog reading again (especially on those with daily or multiple posts each week), but I hope to catch up soon. Many thanks to Mandy from My Life as Described by Twin Trials and Triumphs for passing on the Trendy Blog Award. We’ve recently bonded through our only-child-all-grown-up-and-now-raising-twins connection and have enjoyed swapping book and CD titles. If you haven’t already checked out her site, you definitely should!

Drop-off Playgroup, Weeks 3 and 4

Week three at playgroup (a week ago from yesterday) was pretty similar to week two except that Buba started crying the moment we walked into the room, so I never even got a chance to see how he would handle me leaving again. One of the teachers decided (and I agreed) that he’s just not ready for the separation piece yet. I stayed in the room the whole time and joined him at the activities to keep him from being glued to my side at the mommy bench.

Yesterday, at the week four session, I began to see a glimmer of hope that I might someday be able to drop-off my kids at this drop-off playgroup. For starters, I told Buba and Tiny that I would be staying in the room while they played. (This was something the lead teacher and I had agreed on at the end of week 3.) I also decided that we would purposely arrive 5 minutes late when all the other kids would be settled into activities and the other moms would already be gone. These two things seemed to help. Buba walked right into the playroom and began playing with a teacher who was using dot paint to make drawings on a table covered with white butcher paper. (Note to self, never ever send the kids to playgroup in any clothing I would be sad if they ruined while playing.) Tiny headed straight to the water play area.

So, I sat myself down on the mommy bench only to realize that I hadn’t brought one single thing to amuse myself with, thinking I’d be out at the activities with Buba. Luckily, there were some magazines beside the bench, and I quickly began leafing through them. Throughout the free-play hour, Buba came to check in with me several times (more frequently as we got closer to the hour mark), but was always able to go back to an activity with me having to go with him. The only time he cried was when I went to use the bathroom. Otherwise, he transitioned to circle time and snack time without any tears (these were two big firsts for him!).

At this point, the plan is that I will continue to remain in the room, on the mommy bench, until Buba gets used to playing without needing so many check-ins with me. It could be just one more week or perhaps a few more weeks. Whatever it takes, I’m happy to do what I can to help him take the big leap into attending playgroup without me being there.

Drop-off Playgroup, Week 2

Given how well our first week of playgroup went, I wasn’t really expecting any trouble in week two. But I guess I should have known better. I assumed that because Buba and Tiny have always been okay in the childcare room when I go to my monthly book club meeting, that they would be fine playing with all the kids, toys, and teachers at the playgroup without me being in the room. But, I’m pretty sure I only spent about five minutes in the parent waiting room before being called back to the playroom.

The plan was that I would spend five to ten minutes in in the playroom at the beginning of playgroup and then leave once Buba and Tiny appeared to be comfortably settled in. At the time of my departure, Tiny was busy playing with baby dolls, and Buba was playing with other boys in the airplane/truck area. I gave them both kisses and told them I’d be back when playtime was over. They both seemed fine with me leaving.

I went down the hall to the waiting room, and had just enough time to login to my email account on the computer they have in there, when I heard Buba’s cry loud and clear. I waited to see if it would die down, and when it didn’t, I wasn’t surprised to see the EI teacher standing in the doorway telling me that my presence would be required for another session.

So what happened? Apparently Buba had gone to the craft table where children were gluing small, foam shapes onto green construction paper with orange glue/paint. There was a pie tin full of the foam shapes in the middle of the table, and Buba picked it up and walked off with it. When the teacher went after Buba and asked him to take the pie tin back to the table, Buba lost it and could not be consoled. My guess is that he thought he was in trouble and felt scared without me there.

Unfortunately, me coming back into the room didn’t help much. I was sent over to the mommy bench, where moms who need to be in the room are supposed to just sit and observe. But Buba was shaken up to the point that he didn’t want to play with anyone or anything unless I was there with him. It didn’t seem right for him to be stuck to my side on the mommy bench, so I left my post and tried to get him involved in some of the play stations/activities. However, each time he seemed fully engaged and I would try to head back to the mommy bench, he’d drop whatever he was doing to come back with me. This went on during the entire free play portion of the playgroup.

Then, just before clean-up, I was informed that Tiny had had a potty accident (sadly, she wet her pants for the second time that morning*), and I had to abandon Buba for a bit to get her into new clothes. Fortunately, he was fine at that point. I don’t believe he helped with the clean-up, but at least he didn’t cry.

As the kids all headed over to the carpeted bench for circle time, Tiny went fearlessly and sat right down between a little boy and one of the teachers. Buba, however, cried again as I lead him over to the circle, but calmed down quickly and was able to sit on the bench instead of in my lap as he had the previous week. The good news was that both he and Tiny participated fully in circle time this week. Last week, they refused to take their turns bouncing on the big yoga ball as the others sang a welcoming song to them (as is done for each child), but this week they went right up when their names were called. They also participated as best they could when it was time to sing songs and play a cooperative game.

After circle time (again, only about ten minutes long), the kids headed over to the sink to wash hands before snack. Tiny remembered how wonderful this experience had been, and eagerly walked over holding another boy’s hand. Buba had to be carried over, crying the whole way. I took him right up to the sink so he could watch everyone else wash their hands, and then I helped him wash his own. He was still crying when I took him to the table for snack, but the words, “Would you like cake?” got him smiling again.

Although it would be great if next week we could truly have a drop-off experience, I think it’s safe to say that it’s going to be a while until we get to that point. This is the first time my kids have been in a more structured play setting, and they’ll need some time (Buba especially) to become familiar and comfortable with all the rules and transitions. The lead EI teacher assured me that both Buba and Tiny are having typical experiences for first-timers, and that this will all be old hat in a few more weeks.

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*Tiny has done exceptionally well at staying dry and clean since we did her potty training back in January. For whatever reason, she was just off that morning. And fortunately, she’s been dry and clean ever since.

Drop-off Playgroup

At our one-year well visit, our pediatrician recommended that we have Buba screened by Early Intervention (EI). He made this recommendation because Buba was not yet speaking individual words, and he used mama and dada indiscriminately. So, I called and set up evaluations for both kids (might as well). Interestingly, Tiny qualified for nutrition support due to her slow weight gain, and Buba qualified for nothing. It was noted that he had some delays, but none were great enough for him to qualify for services.

Three months later, we had Buba retested, and at this point, he qualified for home visits with an educator (to provide speech and language support) and an occupational therapist. He has been receiving EI services since last July, and we have seen tremendous growth from him.

A few months back, it was recommended that we consider putting the kids into an EI playgroup. Tiny is no longer receiving EI services, but she could participate as a community kid. Given that his EI educator (who they both adore) was about to go on maternity leave, I chose to sign them up for a playgroup rather than transition him to another educator. Buba tends to hang back in play situations with other kids, so it seemed like this might be a good way to help him learn how to participate in play with other kids.

It took several months to get everything set up, but we finally went to our first day of playgroup this morning. (Thanks to all the comments left at HDYDI, we were even on time.) I was really nervous about how it would go. It’s intended to be a drop-off playgroup. And while I love the idea of having an hour and a half to myself, I was quite concerned as to how the kids would respond.

Fortunately, the EI staff eases everyone into the drop-off part. Today, I stayed in the room the entire time. They have a “mommy seat” off in the corner, and there I sat filling out paperwork while the kids played. Buba went right for the table with airplanes and trucks, and Tiny headed over to the water play area where she got to wash baby dolls in soapy sudsy water. Tiny never once came over to check in with me, but Buba came frequently. Often he just sat down with me for a few minutes before heading off to something else, but a couple of times he was looking for some cuddles. The EI staff was great about talking with him and luring him back into play.

The hard part came when it was time to clean up the toys and head over to a meeting space for circle time. Buba did not want to go, and cried a bit even when I went with him. Luckily that part was only about ten minutes. Then each kid went to the sink to wash hands before snack. Tiny loved that part, but Buba cried through that part too. He also cried as I took him to sit at the little table and chairs for snack, but calmed down pretty quickly once the snack arrived (Cheerios and raisins).

All in all, it went pretty well. One of the lead teachers said that both kids had done well considering it was their first time. Next week, I’ll drop them off and head to a waiting room in the building. Should there be a problem, someone will come and get me to join them at the playgroup again. But hopefully, over the next few weeks, Tiny and Buba will become comfortable enough that my presence will no longer be necessary. At that point, I could actually leave the building should I desire to do so.

Both kids agreed that they had a fun time playing with new friends. I asked each one what they liked best about playgroup and wasn’t too surprised by their answers. Tiny said, “I wash hands in the water.” And Buba said, “Snack.”

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Don’t forget- tomorrow is the last day to enter my Humpty Who giveaway.