Buba fine motor development gross motor development Language Development: Early Intervention
by reanbean
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One Year Later
In early June 2009, Buba was found eligible for Early Intervention (EI) services. We’d asked for him to be evaluated because our pediatrician noted that he had a slight speech and language delay. Since that type of delay runs in our family, T and I knew that we wanted to act on services as soon as possible, to hopefully avoid further trouble in that area down the road.
However, when the EI team evaluated Buba, they also found a significant fine motor delay. Buba was not yet clapping and almost never used his left hand. While I was aware of these things, the news that he would also need occupational therapy (OT) on top of speech and language services (SP/LA) caught me off guard, and it took some time for me to come to terms with it.
Buba started working with an EI educator (for SP/LA services) and an occupational therapist in July of 2009 after we’d returned from our family vacation. Within just a few weeks, his speech improved dramatically, but his motor skills were not improving as quickly, and it was really tough for me to take in all the information his therapist was giving me about his difficulties with balance, sensory integration, and motor planning. There were several times when I would break down into tears after his sessions, because I just felt that I wasn’t doing enough to help him practice in those areas when we were at home on our own. At the same time, I just couldn’t believe that he was as impaired in those areas as his therapist was saying. Yes, he had trouble getting clothing on and off, but He’s just a little boy! I would think to myself. It also bothered me that the therapist didn’t often acknowledge when he had made gains. And if she did, it was often followed by something new that she’d noticed he now needed to work on.
So, I was kind of excited when I found out that a completely new team of EI staff members would be taking on Buba’s one-year evaluation (which was yesterday). I just wanted to see how he would be viewed by different therapists who’d had no previous experiences with him. The way I see it, Buba has made huge gains in both SP/LA and OT, but I wondered how the evaluation team would seem him.
It turns out that they saw what I see. In fact, he did so well with all the tasks and activities used to assess his skills that they found him to be ineligible for EI services. He has 45 more days to be phased out of the program, and then that’s it. Needless to say, this news was quite exciting! I mean, what parent doesn’t want to hear that their child no longer has any significant developmental delays?
But the sad thing is that our playgroup is through EI, and that may have to come to an end as well. We’ll try working with EI to see if Buba and Tiny can remain in the group as community kids (kids without delays who attend playgroup- technically, Tiny already is one), but it all depends on the numbers, and I have a feeling that there are already quite a few community kids in the group. We’ll continue going at least through July (which is part of our 45 days) and then just see what happens from there.
All in all, I can’t say enough good things about EI. Even with my issues with Buba’s occupational therapist, I still felt like everyone who has worked with my kids has been excellent and has had my kids’ best interests in mind (Tiny worked briefly with an EI nutritionist last summer). And while I do think there were other factors involved, I don’t doubt that the EI staff has played a huge role in helping Buba to be the amazing kid that he is today.
I Singing
Buba loves, loves, LOVES to sing. He sings mostly nursery rhymes, but every now and then, he puts new words to a familiar tune to get his point across…
To the tune of Frere Jacques after eating a free cookie from the bakery at the grocery store:
I lika mo cookie, I lika mo cookie
I lika mo, I lika mo
Mo cookie mo cookie, Mo cookie mo cookie
I lika mo, I lika mo
At first it surprised me that he would do something like this, but when I really thought about it, it made sense, because it’s something I do (and have done) for a long time. And I seem to do it more with Buba than with Tiny. When he’s really upset, this song can usually calm him down. Think of the song I’ve Been Workin’ on the Railroad, and skip ahead to the “Fee, fie, fiddle-e-i-o” part. That’s the tune these lyrics go with:
Bye-bye, Mr. Cry
Bye-bye, Mr. Cry-y-y-y
Bye-bye, Mr. Cry
Bye-bye, Mr. Cry. Bye-bye!
Both Tiny and Buba know these made-up lyrics well, and will even sing them to each other when one of them is upset. But Buba is the one who seems to have really caught on to the idea that you can set any words to music, and he’s really taken off with it lately. And weather it’s This Old Man or Booger Booger Booger Boog (sung to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star), when Buba announces, “I singing!” I know it’s going to be worth my while to take a few minutes to listen. I could just listen to his sweet, little voice all day long.
Don’t Say Don’t
I’m sure you’ve heard this before. That those of us who live with young children should avoid saying the word don’t. Instead of saying what not to do, we should be telling our kids what they should do. So, we say things like, “hands off” instead of “don’t touch”. But do you know why this way of communication is recommended?
Last Wednesday, I went to a parenting workshop on Positive Discipline, and the presenter gave a very good reason why we should avoid the word don’t. She, like me, had always thought that it was just better, more positive, to tell a young child what he should do instead of what he shouldn’t. But then she read a study (not listed in her handouts, and I cannot remember who she cited) that concluded that young children actually don’t hear the word don’t. So when we say, “don’t touch” they hear “touch”. That being the case, it’s no wonder that they do exactly what we’ve just said not to.
Sitting in the workshop, I noted this bit of information as interesting, but didn’t think much about it until a few days later when I was coaching Buba on what to say to get Tiny to stop messing with him. It went something like this:
Me: Buba, if you don’t like what Tiny is doing you have to say, “No! No!”
Buba: No! No!
Me: Tell her, “I don’t like it!”
Buba: I like it!
Me: No, say, “I don’t like it!”
Buba: I like it!
And that’s when that bit from the workshop really clicked for me. I wish I could find that study (perhaps a Google search will turn up something), because I’m so curious to know how it was conducted and how old the subjects were. But for now, I’ve been trying to avoid the “don’t commands” as much as I can. It’s a bit harder than I thought it would be, as saying don’t seems to come more naturally, and of course, is a much faster way to say what I want to say. But I’ll keep trying, because it seems to be working a bit better.
Potty Training: I Wouldn’t Use the Word “Trained” Yet
It has been almost three weeks since we started our second attempt of potty training with Buba. He hasn’t worn a diaper during waking hours since April 16th, but I certainly wouldn’t used the word trained to describe what we’ve got going on. Yes, he does pee in the potty, but he does not yet tell us when he has to go.
So, it’s like this: All day long I’m saying, “Remember to tell Mommy when you have to use the potty. Keep your big boy underpants dry and clean.” And most of the time Buba’s response is, “No.”, meaning he doesn’t have to go. Sometimes he’ll say, “Need go potty.” And then he’ll go to the potty and go. But if it so happens that I don’t suggest that he tell me when he needs to go, at a time when he actually needs to go (make sense?), he’ll have an accident. And he hasn’t pooped in the potty since day one. He waits for his nap or nighttime diaper, and then wakes up with a rash all over his bum.
There are certain times of the day when I’ll insist that Buba sit on the potty and try to go (before we leave the house, before bath, and before nap or nighttime diapers are put on). He doesn’t resist these requests, and nine times out of ten, he will go. Buba has only had one accident outside of our home, and he seems really proud of the fact that he’s wearing big boy underpants. But the accidents don’t seem to phase him one bit. And man, is it exhausting to be reminding him all day long.
I asked Buba one day after he’d had three accidents in a short period of time (it was really hot, so I’d given him a lot of water to drink) if he’d rather wear diapers all the time, and his answer was, “I wear big boy unna pants. I making pee ina potty.”
So where does this leave us? In all honesty, I’m not really sure. For those who have potty trained children or who are currently working on it, what do you think? Are we on the right track? Is the constant need for reminding just par for the course? And how the heck do I get him to poop in the potty?
Potty Training: At the Beginning Again
Back in January, T and I decided to start potty training with Tiny. Initially, I wasn’t too structured in my approach, but after talking with another MOT friend, I decided to try the 3-Day Potty Training method. We didn’t exactly follow the plan to a T, but it worked amazingly well. It worked so well, that we decided to try the same approach with Buba the following weekend. But the exact same approach did not equal fast and easy potty training for Buba, and we actually decided (at the end of day 2) to throw in the towel and try again later.
It is now three months later. For three months, Buba has been watching Tiny use the potty. He talks about the potty. Tells us all about what it’s for. And recently has started asking for some “big girl panties”. So we decided to try the potty training again now that T is home on spring vacation. I’ll admit right now that T was more gung-ho about it than I was. There was some hesitation in me, not as convinced about Buba’s readiness as I was when we started with Tiny.
We had planned to start the potty training on Saturday, but on Friday, I ended up being home with the kids for most of the day, so I figured why not just give it a go now. I took off Buba’s diaper, gave him a big sippy cup of water, and just waited for the teaching moments to begin. We certainly were not accident free, but Buba completely surprised me with how successful he was.
Day two started off with a big, wet accident, but after that, we were good. And day three went really well too. But now we’re on day four, and today hasn’t gone well at all. Only one success mid-morning and several changes of underwear. Grrrrrr.
I know that Buab is still very young (some might say too young), but I really don’t want to give it up just yet. As frustrating as today has been, I’m just so worried that it will be even harder down the road. T and I have talked about it, and together we decided that we’ve definitely been way more lax this time, and we probably have not been attentive enough today. We’ll go back to those strategies that worked in those initial days and see what a few more days of practice might bring. If Buba continues to do this well or better, I think I’ll be able to keep the training efforts going even after T’s spring break is over. But if it doesn’t work out, I know I’ll have no trouble admitting that this just isn’t his time. So, for now, it’s just a wait-and-see kind of thing.
Buba’s New Hairdo
Neither of my kids had much hair for the entire first year, but Buba’s seemed to come in even more slowly than Tiny’s. Both had fine, straight hair at first, but some where around 15 months, Tiny’s began to curl up and require more combing and detangling. So I didn’t mind that Buba’s hair stayed straight because it was so low-maintenance. If only it could have stayed that way…
Not only is it now curly, but it’s crazy, all over the place curly. And there’s really not much I can do about it. I’ve tried using some detangler and smoothing it down on his head, but unless he stays still while it’s drying, the curls pop back into place within minutes.
I’ve mentioned to T that I’d like to take him to get it cut, as it’s quite long around the ears, and perhaps that might neaten it up a bit. But T is against that idea. He likes Buba’s hair the way it is and says the shaggy look is back in.
I’m not sure who will win this debate, but until it’s settled, I think we may need to get Buba a cute little hat. 
Buba
I’ve been calling my son Buba since the day he was born. I’m not sure why or how I determined that Buba would be my pet name for him, but it felt right. Of course, I do call him by his given name too. But until recently, I’d say 8 times out of 10, I’d call him Buba.
T calls him Bub sometimes, but most often uses his given name (which T chose). I don’t think it really bothered T that I call him Buba until Tiny started calling him Buba. Now, I don’t mind that Tiny calls him Buba (she can’t pronounce his given name very well), but it doesn’t sit well with T. So when Tiny says Buba, T will sort of correct her by repeating what she said, but replacing Buba with brother. Something like this:
Tiny: I see Buba running. Running fast.
T: Oh, you see brother running? Running fast?
I’m not sure how that makes the situation better. And I would rather that Tiny use Buba’s given name than call him brother all the time. So, I’ve decided to make it a point of calling Buba by his given name more often. But I’m not ready to give up Buba altogether. And I hope that’s okay.
p.s. Thanks for all the great snack recommendations. I now have a few new things on the list for my next grocery trip.
Potty Training: Take Two?
When T and I decided to start potty training with Tiny, it was an easy decision to make. I had done a bit of research and knew that she was showing at least a few signs of readiness. Buba, on the other hand, was showing zero signs of readiness. And so we decided that we would just focus on Tiny and wait until Buba was ready. However, after trying the three day plan (with some modifications), and having such great success with Tiny, we figured why not give it a try with Buba. After all, the three day plan says a child need not show signs of readiness as long as the child is 22 months or older. So we decided to go for it. Three more days at home and big kid underpants for all.
Unfortunately, potty training with Buba this past weekend was not as successful as the weekend before with Tiny. We stayed right by his side and watched him like a hawk, but still had an extremely hard time getting him to be successful on the potty. And the few times that we did get him there in time to praise his efforts, he could not have cared less. Twice he tried to get up from the potty in mid-pee to go off and play. There just seemed to be no connection for Buba that he had control over his bodily functions and that he could make them happen while sitting on the potty.
We stuck with it for the weekend, but by Saturday afternoon, I knew that I would not be going ahead with day three. I am even more convinced now that Tiny’s quick success with potty training had more to do with the fact that she was ready than the combination of methods I used. Being consistent in helping her practice using the potty that weekend made all the difference in potty training her, but in the end, I truly believe that she was easy to potty train because she was ready to do it.
I know that someday Buba will be ready too. It might be in a few weeks or it could be months away. In the meantime, I’ll continue watching for those readiness sings. And once he’s ready, we’ll try again.
First the Goat, Then the Piggy
For their first birthday, Tiny and Buba received the Little People Animal Sounds Farm from their great-aunt. They didn’t play with it much at first, but recently Buba has been playing with it a lot. He knows all the animals and likes to show them to me and tell me what sounds they make. The only problem is, he also likes to throw them.
Maybe it’s just a little boy thing, but Buba likes to throw toys over the baby gates. And strangely enough, he seems to throw the ones he prefers most often. He’ll be playing happily with a toy at my feet while I’m working in the kitchen, and then as soon as I step over the gate to go to the bathroom, Buba will run up to the gate and throw the toy over. Almost like a screw you gesture. But then he stands at the gate and whines until I retrieve the toy and hand it back to him.
But sometimes, the toys disappear. I hear them drop over the gate, but I don’t see them. Sometimes they roll and end up behind a door or under the furniture. And sometimes they spark the interest of our cat and get carried off to only-she-knows-where. Of course, we usually find them days after we stop looking for them.
However, this has not been the case with the beloved farm animals. Earlier this week, the goat went missing. And then yesterday, we lost the pig too. I don’t know if Buba threw them somewhere or what. We’ve looked in all the usual places and some unusual ones too, but the goat and piggy are nowhere to be found.
How does this happen? I have no idea. But if you happen to see our goat or piggy, please send them home. Buba misses them.