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Potty Training: I Wouldn’t Use the Word “Trained” Yet

It has been almost three weeks since we started our second attempt of potty training with Buba. He hasn’t worn a diaper during waking hours since April 16th, but I certainly wouldn’t used the word trained to describe what we’ve got going on. Yes, he does pee in the potty, but he does not yet tell us when he has to go.

So, it’s like this: All day long I’m saying, “Remember to tell Mommy when you have to use the potty. Keep your big boy underpants dry and clean.” And most of the time Buba’s response is, “No.”, meaning he doesn’t have to go. Sometimes he’ll say, “Need go potty.” And then he’ll go to the potty and go. But if it so happens that I don’t suggest that he tell me when he needs to go, at a time when he actually needs to go (make sense?), he’ll have an accident. And he hasn’t pooped in the potty since day one. He waits for his nap or nighttime diaper, and then wakes up with a rash all over his bum.

There are certain times of the day when I’ll insist that Buba sit on the potty and try to go (before we leave the house, before bath, and before nap or nighttime diapers are put on). He doesn’t resist these requests, and nine times out of ten, he will go. Buba has only had one accident outside of our home, and he seems really proud of the fact that he’s wearing big boy underpants. But the accidents don’t seem to phase him one bit. And man, is it exhausting to be reminding him all day long.

I asked Buba one day after he’d had three accidents in a short period of time (it was really hot, so I’d given him a lot of water to drink) if he’d rather wear diapers all the time, and his answer was, “I wear big boy unna pants. I making pee ina potty.”

So where does this leave us? In all honesty, I’m not really sure. For those who have potty trained children or who are currently working on it, what do you think? Are we on the right track? Is the constant need for reminding just par for the course? And how the heck do I get him to poop in the potty?

Potty Training: At the Beginning Again

Back in January, T and I decided to start potty training with Tiny. Initially, I wasn’t too structured in my approach, but after talking with another MOT friend, I decided to try the 3-Day Potty Training method. We didn’t exactly follow the plan to a T, but it worked amazingly well. It worked so well, that we decided to try the same approach with Buba the following weekend. But the exact same approach did not equal fast and easy potty training for Buba, and we actually decided (at the end of day 2) to throw in the towel and try again later.

It is now three months later. For three months, Buba has been watching Tiny use the potty. He talks about the potty. Tells us all about what it’s for. And recently has started asking for some “big girl panties”. So we decided to try the potty training again now that  T is home on spring vacation. I’ll admit right now that T was more gung-ho about it than I was. There was some hesitation in me, not as convinced about Buba’s readiness as I was when we started with Tiny.

We had planned to start the potty training on Saturday, but on Friday, I ended up being home with the kids for most of the day, so I figured why not just give it a go now. I took off Buba’s diaper, gave him a big sippy cup of water, and just waited for the teaching moments to begin. We certainly were not accident free, but Buba completely surprised me with how successful he was.

Day two started off with a big, wet accident, but after that, we were good. And day three went really well too. But now we’re on day four, and today hasn’t gone well at all. Only one success mid-morning and several changes of underwear. Grrrrrr.

I know that Buab is still very young (some might say too young), but I really don’t want to give it up just yet. As frustrating as today has been, I’m just so worried that it will be even harder down the road. T and I have talked about it, and together we decided that we’ve definitely been way more lax this time, and we probably have not been attentive enough today. We’ll go back to those strategies that worked in those initial days and see what a few more days of practice might bring. If Buba continues to do this well or better, I think I’ll be able to keep the training efforts going even after T’s spring break is over. But if it doesn’t work out, I know I’ll have no trouble admitting that this just isn’t his time. So, for now, it’s just a wait-and-see kind of thing.

Who Will Be My Baby?

A couple of weeks ago, I happened to arrive at the gym just a few minutes after the family swim time had ended. The women’s locker room was packed with mothers and kids of all ages. One little boy (maybe 3 or 4 years old) was having a ton of fun as his mother was trying to get him and his slightly older sister ready to go. Whenever his mother turned her back, he would disappear into an empty locker and then wait for her to find him. After she’d finally gathered all of their things, she turned to find that he had disappeared again. “Come out, baby!” his mother called.

The boy jumped out from behind a locker door and indignantly replied, “I’m not a baby! I’m a big boy!”

The mother dropped everything and scooped him up into her arms. “But if you’re a big boy, who will be my baby?” she asked. The boy didn’t have an answer, but just sat there snuggling with his mom as I (now dressed and ready to workout) headed out to the gym floor.

It was just a few days later when it occurred to me that we are in the same boat. We were at a sing along at one of the local libraries, and I actually got a little teary as I watch my two sing along and perform all the motions that go with The Wheels on the Bus. Tiny and Buba are not as old as that mother’s little boy, but they are growing up, and so so fast…

Still, I remember that day in early March 2008 when T and I brought them home from the hospital and placed them side by side in the crib that is now just for Tiny.

They slept swaddled and snuggled up right next to each other no matter how far apart we placed them in the crib. Tiny always found a way to get right next to Buba.

A few weeks later, it was warm enough to start taking walks.

And not long after, they were staying awake long enough to enjoy playing with toys.

But mostly, they just hung out a looked around.

Then, before I knew it, they were rolling over and supporting their own heads. We loved taking Buba and Tiny outside that summer to play with toys on a picnic blanket.

And we started solids just as summer became fall.

Soon they were sitting

then crawling

and then walking all by themselves

And as days went by, it became very apparent that they were no longer babies anymore.

They haven’t been for quite some time now.

On Sunday, Tiny and Buba will turn two. And while I’m do miss (a little) those days when they were so small and dependent on me for everything, I can’t help but also feel excited about all the things we’ll be able to do this spring and summer now that they’re another year older.

Potty Training: 5 Weeks Later

It’s been about 5 weeks since we started potty training with Tiny. I know, for many, potty training is a process. I’ve read enough blogs to know that some kids take weeks, even months, before they really get the hang of it. Thankfully, that has not been our experience with Tiny. She has done extremely well, and I’ve had absolutely no regrets regarding ditching the diapers.

As you probably remember, we went with the three-day plan. Tiny had done very well in those first three days, but I was still very nervous about leaving the house. Would she tell me when she had to go? Would she use the travel potty I’d purchase? Luckily, the answer to both questions was yes. I can’t say that she hasn’t had a single accident since we ditched the diapers, but thankfully all but one has been at home. And all within the first week after our potty training weekend.

So, at five weeks out, we’re in a pretty good groove. If we’re at home, I don’t have anything to worry about. Tiny will independently go to one of her potties and use it without any prompting or help from me. Sometimes I don’t eve know that she’s gone until she comes up to me with her panties and pants in her hands, asking for help. Tiny is alway willing to sit on the potty before we leave the house, and 8 times out of 10 she’ll go at least a little. If we’re out and about, she’ll tell me when she needs to go. During the first few weeks, there were a large number of false alarms. Personally, I think she just wanted to get a look at the bathrooms of all the places we frequent. But we’ve had fewer and fewer false alarms in the last two weeks. On one occasion, when I was pretty certain that she did not need to go, I told her there was no bathroom where we were shopping, so she’d just have to wait, and she dropped the potty request instantly. (I now know that she’ll whine and cry if she really, really has to go.) Although she’s doesn’t get terribly upset when she has an accident, she takes great pride in being able to keep herself dry and clean all day.

But the cutest thing ever is how she cheers for herself when she uses the potty. As part of the training process, we gave tons and tons of praise (no M&Ms and very few stickers- but that’s for another post)- lots and lots of ” Yay!” and “You did it!” along with “Tiny went pee in the potty! Tiny went pee in the potty!” So now, when Tiny uses the potty all by herself, she takes her Abby Cadabby doll with her, and has Abby cheer for her and give her hugs and kisses when she’s all done.

And although Buba is still in diapers, and we’ve not continued any of the three-day techniques with him, he’s still very interested in Tiny’s use of the potty. Buba often comes with us when we empty Tiny’s potty into the toilet, and he still claps and cheers with the same amount of enthusiasm as he did on day one. Buba likes to sit (with diaper off) on the potty twice a day (first thing in the morning and right before bed), but hasn’t produced anything yet. When he gets up from his potty, he says, “Empty. No pee. I’ll try again later.”

So, what can I say. I’m pretty happy with how things have been going. I know that there can still be some bumps in the road. While Tiny wakes up dry from naps, she still very much needs a diaper at nighttime. And just because Tiny trained so easily doesn’t mean that Buba will as well. But that’s okay. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Potty Training: Take Two?

When T and I decided to start potty training with Tiny, it was an easy decision to make. I had done a bit of research and knew that she was showing at least a few signs of readiness. Buba, on the other hand, was showing zero signs of readiness. And so we decided that we would just focus on Tiny and wait until Buba was ready. However, after trying the three day plan (with some modifications), and having such great success with Tiny, we figured why not give it a try with Buba. After all, the three day plan says a child need not show signs of readiness as long as the child is 22 months or older. So we decided to go for it. Three more days at home and big kid underpants for all.

Unfortunately, potty training with Buba this past weekend was not as successful as the weekend before with Tiny. We stayed right by his side and watched him like a hawk, but still had an extremely hard time getting him to be successful on the potty. And the few times that we did get him there in time to praise his efforts, he could not have cared less. Twice he tried to get up from the potty in mid-pee to go off and play. There just seemed to be no connection for Buba that he had control over his bodily functions and that he could make them happen while sitting on the potty.

We stuck with it for the weekend, but by Saturday afternoon, I knew that I would not be going ahead with day three. I am even more convinced now that Tiny’s quick success with potty training had more to do with the fact that she was ready than the combination of methods I used. Being consistent in helping her practice using the potty that weekend made all the difference in potty training her, but in the end, I truly believe that she was easy to potty train because she was ready to do it.

I know that someday Buba will be ready too. It might be in a few weeks or it could be months away. In the meantime, I’ll continue watching for those readiness sings. And once he’s ready, we’ll try again.

Potty Training: The Weekend Update

The kids and I have not left the house since Friday afternoon. At the suggestion of my readers, I decided to take a look at the 3 Day Potty Training plan. There were parts that I liked, as well as parts that I chose to ignore. But the bottom line is, Tiny is out of diapers (except for naptime and nighttime).

We started right away on Saturday morning. I told Tiny that she was no longer going to wear diapers anymore, except for naps and nighttime sleep. Instead, she would wear her big girl panties and use the potty. Tiny seemed much in agreement with this plan so we were good to go. She had a successful experience on the potty before getting dressed, and was over the moon with all the praise she got. Even Buba clapped his little hands and shouted, “Yaaaaaaaay!”

After breakfast, I gave Tiny some water to fill up her bladder and give us more opportunities to practice getting to the potty. We had four pretty major accidents within about two hours time, and I was definitely feeling frustrated. I knew that I needed to be cheerful and encouraging as I constantly reminded her to let me know when she needed to use the potty, so I did my best to keep it up. Roughly 5 hours into day one, Tiny looked at me and timidly said, “potty.” Of course, I scooped her up and ran to the potty chair. I nearly knocked her over trying to pull her training pants down. Then I helped her sit down on the potty and sat their holding my breath…

SUCCESS!!! We were all going nuts with praise. Tiny was beaming from ear to ear. And it seemed that that one moment turned our whole day around. Tiny still had two more major accidents before the day was over, but for the first time, I felt certain that she was learning. She was beginning to make the connection between realizing she needed to go and understanding that she would allow her body to release while sitting on the potty.

Day two went splendidly well with only one major accident and one minor one. And day 3 (today), so far, not one single accident (knock on wood). She even put herself on the potty after lunch while I was cleaning up Buba. I turned around, and there she was, pointing to the potty and saying, “Ma clean it!”

I can’t say for certain that it was the 3 Day Potty Training plan itself that worked for us. After all, I had already done (and in some cases continue to do) several things that Lora Jensen advises against. Plus, I ignored some of the advice that I knew I just couldn’t carry out. But I do think it was a combination of readiness and consistency that helped us get to the place where we are now.

Of course, I know there will be more accidents, and getting out and about may be a bit challenging for a while, but I’m so glad I decided to press ahead with the potty training. One down, one to go…

Potty Training: Thought Process and Implementation

About two weeks ago, I mentioned that I might be ready to start potty training with Tiny. She was showing some of the readiness signs- telling me when she needed a diaper change, pulling down her pants by herself, talking about the potty and big girl panties- and a couple of family members had commented that it might be time for us to attempt to ditch her diapers. I was willing to try, even somewhat excited to begin the process, but had no idea how to begin.

So, I looked through some parenting books geared towards the toddler years* and skimmed the Mayo Clinic’s potty training web pages (at Sadia’s suggestion). Of course, I found a ton of interesting information. However, the more I read, the more conflicting information I found. Some authors/experts believed that toddlers weren’t really ready for potty training until age 2 or older, while another boasted that potty training could begin as early as 9 months with success for some by 12 months. Some felt it was important for potty training to be self-initiated by the child, while another felt it was the parent’s job to introduce and teach the child how to use the potty. The pro early-training author said that once upon a time, the majority of toddlers were potty trained by 18-24 months and that disposable diapers and busy parents had created the trend of potty training kids in their 2′s and 3′s. And still, another author said that no parent should really be concerned about potty training issues until his/her child was older than 4. It was enough to make my head spin. Was Tiny ready or was she still to young? It seemed I might not really know until we gave it a try.

And so we did. Monday, the diaper came off after breakfast and I spent most of the morning cleaning up accidents all over the house, as well as logging all the times we sat on the potties and all the times the accidents occurred. We spent lots of time sitting on the potties and reading books about kids who were learning how to use the potty, and just before bedtime, Tiny had her first successful experience on the potty. And while I knew that there were most likely many more clean-ups in my future, this one little success story gave me hope that my decision to give potty training a try was not completely crazy.

The following three days were much the same. Tiny has had 1-2 successful potty experiences each day, but there are still more accidents than success stories. And she’s not particularly bothered by the accidents. She’ll tell me that she’s wet or that there is a “mess, mess, mess!” to clean up, but she’s not at all upset that she’s had an accident.

So I’m feeling very conflicted about how to proceed at this point. I know it’s only day 4, but part of me is thinking that I may want to abort this potty training plan for a while and try again in a few weeks. Although she’s been successful a handful of times when I’ve had her sit on the potty, she’s clearly not able to tell me when she needs to go. However, I’m wondering, if we go back to diapers, how will she learn? After all, most milestones take time and practice. Are accidents an important part of the practice that will eventually lead to independent success? Who knows!

Anyhow, my current plan (unless someone out there has some brilliant advice for me) is to stick with potty training through the weekend. If our success rate doesn’t improve, and if Tiny continues to rely on me telling her when it’s time to sit on the potty, then we may just put potty training aside for a while and try again later.

Please wish me luck. I’m going to need all I can get.

*resources: The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems (by teaching you how to ask the right questions) by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau, The First Two Years by Benjamin Spock, M.D., Toddler 411 (2nd Edition) by Denise Fields and Ari Brown, M.D.