Dealing with Nightmares
A few weeks ago, a woman from my new mothers’ group (yeah, that one I joined when my kids were just weeks old!) recently posted a message that her daughter was having frequent nightmares. I was very surprised when a week went by and no one else in the group had responded (Normally, it’s a pretty active message board. I read it, but don’t usually post anything.). So, having just a little bit of experience in this area, I decided to reply to her post. This is what I wrote to her…
Tiny definitely has some nightmares from time to time. Usually she calms down pretty quickly once T or I go in, but one time it took over an hour to calm her down and then she had a lot of trouble going back to sleep, as she was just so terrified. She was convinced that there were bugs in her bed and refused to lie down. She finally crouched down in one corner and ended up falling asleep all scrunched up in that one corner. It was so sad.
Some recommendations we’ve been given and some things we’ve tried:
*For some reason, changing the sheets after a nightmare has made all the difference in the world.
*A friend recommended goodnight spray, which is basically water (you can add lemon juice or something to add a scent) in a spray bottle that you and your child can spray around the room at bedtime to keep the room safe from whatever the feared thing is.
*Another friend said that you have to kind of play along with the fear instead of trying to rationalize it away. For example, one night, Buba was complaining that there was a crocodile in his bed. Clearly, there was not. But rather than explain to him that their was no crocodile in his bed, I very calmly and seriously reached in and pulled the crocodile out. Then I went to the front door, opened it, threw the crocodile out and yelled that crocodiles are not allowed in our house. Buba accepted this action, and there’s been no mention of crocodiles in the bed ever since.
I just got an email back from that woman. She said that they had tried all of my suggestions, and they seem to be working. Their house has been nightmare free for almost a week now. So, I figured I’d pass this knowledge on to others. Know of anything else that helps little ones when they’re having nightmares?
Thanks for sharing! I will tuck this away for future use if needed. There has been times that Miss Molly has woken up crying, but not the usual cry (more a scared cry). She never has said anything scared her, but was just very disoriented. She also was very shaken up.
LOVE that you kicked the crocodile out of the houes. That’s classic.
Mr. Mischief used to get night terrors.
He would be screaming and crying, so I would wake him up and bring him into the living room. As soon as we were out of the room he would calm down. After 10 minutes or so he would be calm enough to go back to bed.
I really hope the girls don’t get nightmares… trying to cure twins of nightmares and get some sleep in the same night sounds like it might be impossible.
Thanks for the good ideas. I, too, treat Mischief’s fears with respect. I once banned pigs from our house. I didn’t actually pick them up or kick them out, I just told them they had to leave.
Great suggestions! So far nightmare wake-ups have been short and easily resolved. Chris just sits with her until she calms down and then “put blanket on”. No specifics are mentioned because she’s too disoriented. The crocodile method will be used when needed, though Chris will have work on his acting skills since it is never me that gets called in.
Nightmares in little ones are the worst. One of my girls had nightmares consistently for a few weeks, but that has long since passed (although they all still have a bad dream from time to time). I’ve found that it’s also best to let them sleep through it. Waking them up during a nightmare seems to make them more scared because they’re so disoriented.