It’s All Relative, I Suppose
I’ve never taken part in Multiples and More‘s question of the week prompts, but this week’s question has actually been on my mind for weeks. Maybe even months.
It’s been a little rough around here lately. Tiny and Buba have become fiercely independent and are no longer interested in following my agenda. They mostly want to do what they want to do when they want to do it. My efforts to assist them in anything are often met with a nasty sounding, “NO! I gotta do it!” And my requests are answered mostly with, “OK. But waita justa minute.”, which turns out to actually be no less than five minutes. There are numerous tantrums and meltdowns every day. I’ve been trying very hard be consistent with discipline, while also remembering to pick my battles and to give them a bit more of the freedom that they’ve been wanting. But so often it turns into a give them an inch and they take a mile situation. The days spent mostly just the three of us are so emotionally exhausting.
To be fair, we’re not battling each other all day every day. But more often now than ever before. On the weekends, when T is home to help provide a united front, things seem to go a little better. But last week was so tough that I considered applying for a full time maternity leave position for the months of May and June. After spending a day thinking about it, I decided against it. But it was the first time that I really considered going back to work full time before the kids start kindergarten. I thought about all the working mom’s who’ve told me that they are better moms because they work and started to understand what they mean.
I know that Tiny and Buba aren’t bad kids. They’re just three-year-olds doing what three-year-olds do. But it feels so hard to be their mom sometimes. And sometimes I worry that I’m not as good at my SAHM job as I wish I could be.
I guess I just thought things would continue to get easier as the kids got older. And perhaps, compared to the first year, things are. Most nights I get 6-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep (depending on when I get myself to bed), and that’s got to count for something. My kids can dress themselves and feed themselves (when they want to), and they don’t truly need me the way they did when they were infants. Still, right now it’s feeling pretty hard compared to where we were six months ago.
We’ve had our ups and downs before, so I know we’ll be back in the ups at some point. I just hope it’s soon.
Hi there! I have been thinking the same thing! I thought twins would get easier as time went on, but I find myself longing for those sweet babies that cuddled, smiled and didn’t fight me at every turn! I know its all about asserting their independence at this age, but boy it is exhausting- physially and mentally. Granted I am getting a full nights sleep, but I find this age more draining than having newborn babies (2 at a time). When parents say it gets easier- they must mean- when the kiddos are in school full time!!!
Thinking of you…
Have you made time for you and T lately? Maybe some time away (even just a few hours) would be just the ticket right now.
Isn’t this such a tough age. I kept looking forward to them getting older and doing more, but man can it be trying sometimes. They still need me for a lot and want me to do a lot, but the tantrums with Michael are just crazy. When he doesn’t get his way, he just let loose. I so commiserate with you. I think for us, getting outside will help. Hopefully the nice weather will stay and we can let some of their pent up energy loose.
Ugh. Now I understand more about why you were dragging earlier this week. I’m only just getting a taste of the toddler drive for independence. The hardest part is how suddenly it can be turned on (and off). I also hate having my own expectations thrown out the window…humbling, yes, but still frustrating. Hang in. We’ll see you soon.
Whoever coined the phrase “Terrible Two’s” apparently never made it to the three’s. Three was rough. Kids are just starting to learn how to express themselves and everything can be a battle, as you’re finding out. Hang in there!
You know, all of a sudden for me it got easier in this 3′s stage. I was struggling a few weeks ago, but I think maybe the attitudes are gone, and we’re evening out again. But yea, I know what you mean. Sometimes still the whining and crying, back-talking and not listening can drive you crazy. We have had some nice weather here too, so we’ve been outside which has helped. Hang in there momma. =)
First things first – here is a long distance {{hug}}. Bless your heart! I wish I had words of wisdom for you, but I have none. I do know that being a parent is the hardest job I have ever done hands down. There are some nights that I get home from work that I feel like all I do is put my son in the corner! He sometimes has me in tears because I start questioning what are we doing wrong as parents?!?! Molly minds really well, but she is so stubborn that sometimes I want to literally pull my hair out! You are a great SAHM! Take care!