Terrified

Last night, Tiny woke up around 1:30am screaming for me and T. T ran in to try to sooth her, as I was laid-up on the couch trying to work through a yucky intestinal bug (and trying to keep any germs to myself). Through her screams and sobs she told him that there was a bug in her crib. T checked the crib, assured her that there was nothing there and put her and Buba back to bed (because, of course, he’d woken up too and was now also in need of some soothing). Not two minutes later, she was shrieking again- the kid of cry she makes when she’s really, really hurt. Not good. T raced in again, but this time Tiny was beyond worked up, and Buba was becoming more and more upset as her crying and screaming continued. As soon as I heard Tiny call for me, I knew I had to get in there.

This is not the first time that Tiny has awoken scared in the middle of the night. And, while I can’t know with absolute certainty, I’m pretty sure it was a bad dream that started all the night waking months ago. But this was the first time that she couldn’t be easily consoled. She clung to me like her life depended on it, and I could see the fear in her eyes. She was absolutely terrified. I held her and rocked her and told her she was safe. When she appeared calm enough to go back to sleep, I placed her back in her crib. But she shot right back up and refused to lie down. Her bottom lip went out and she began to whimper. I put on her crib soother, which glowed enough so we could both see her mattress, and smoothed down her sheet, showing her that there definitely wasn’t anything in her bed. T put Buba, who he had calmed, back to bed, and I gave Tiny one more hug before zipping up her crib tent.

Tiny held it together for maybe three minutes before she was shrieking and calling for me again. She was still standing up, now in one of the corners of her crib and was still just as scared as she’d been when she’d first called for us. I felt so bad for her. It was clear that this wasn’t game playing. And it was also clear that this wasn’t going to be a quick fix, and then back to bed for all of us. There weren’t any good options for taking Tiny out of her room. I was sick, T has a sinus infection, and Buba would probably protest a ton if he had to stay in the room without her (they’ve never slept separately). So, I held her and rocked her and told her I was there for her. I waited until she stopped hiccuping, and then put her back in her crib. She wouldn’t allow me to lay her down, so I put her in standing and then tried to get her to lay down. It took a few minutes, but she finally crouched down on all fours in one corner of the crib. I stroked her hair, and rubbed her back, and tried to get her to lie down. A few minutes later, she lied down at the far end of her crib, her body all scrunched up in the small space between the front and back of the crib. She refused to lie in the middle, as she normally does. I continued to sit with her until I was sure she’d be okay, maybe 15 minutes or so, and then I returned to the couch.

I could hear Tiny whimper every now and then as she tried to get comfortable but kept bumping into the sides of her crib. She remained awake until almost 3:00am, but then slept soundly until 6:30am, their normal waking time. I changed her crib bedding first thing this morning, and put on a sheet that was a little less busy. Both kids slept soundly at nap time and went right out at bedtime. I’m hoping we’ll all sleep well tonight.