My Needa Monkey

It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted anything about our sleep issues (here and here). Basically, what happened was that the night wakings continued to the point where I was going out of my mind. Tiny was waking up every night and was waking Buba up with her screaming. Then it got to the point where she was waking up multiple times in one night, and that was when I said enough is enough. I read through Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and determined that although some night waking in toddlers is considered normal, the number of times per week that Tiny was waking was not. I firmly believe that the initial night wakings were due to bad dreams. However, I think she then figured out that if she called us in the middle of the night, we would come, and this encouraged her to continue to wake and call for us. Therefore, a plan of action was needed. We purchased a Good Nite Lite and talked about staying quiet as long as the moon was glowing (all night long). If Tiny didn’t wake up and call for Mommy or Daddy, we would continue with whatever plans we had for the following day. If Mommy had to get up in the night to answer her crying calls, all plans would be cancelled. After one cancelled playdate, the night wakings basically stopped. Tiny still occasionally wakes in the night and calls for me, but it’s very, very rare now. And when she does call for me, it is clear that she has been frightened by something. Often she’s crying while asleep, and a gentle back rub along with some reassuring words calms her down quickly. I don’t cancel plans on the days that follow those types of night wakings. If she truly needs me, she needs me. I just don’t like being played.

So we finally had the night wakings under control when Buba decided that it was time to explore getting out of his crib. (Yes, he still wears a sleep sack. That has not stopped him.) To be fair, Tiny was the one who climbed out first, but her experience terrified her, and she hasn’t even attempted to climb out since. Buba, our careful observer, picked up on her strategies and perfected them to the point where he could get out and land safely on the floor. However, he would then cry and want to be put back into his crib only to do it again and again. Then one night, I decided not to go in right away. I let him cry for a few minutes and then quickly peeked in and did a quick scan of the room. I didn’t see him in the room, so I assumed he was still in his crib, which I did not get a good look at, and was just protesting going to sleep. I waited… 5 minutes… 10 minutes… 15 minutes. Finally I figured I should go in and calm him down. To my complete surprise, he was standing on the floor at the far end of his crib, holding onto the bars and screaming his head off. Yes, he had climbed out of the crib, but he had chosen to stay in his bedroom (the door was wide open and there was no gate up) and not to pull out any books or toys. I said nothing to him. Just put him back in his crib (the crying stopped instantly) and walked out the door.

I believe we had at least a couple of nights of Buba staying in his crib until he figured out that he could climb out of his crib and directly into Tiny’s crib without ever touching the floor. Their cribs are side by side, maybe a foot or so apart on the only wall of their room that doesn’t have any windows. He seemed to think this was fantastic. Tiny, however, was not amused. More screaming. More crying. We considered a crib tent, but decided not to go that way if we didn’t have to. So instead, we introduced three sleep rules: 1) stay in bed, 2) lie down, 3) go to sleep. And if the rules were followed, Buba got to play with a set of toys (an odd bunch of small toys picked up at a yard sale) in the morning. This worked for about a week.

T and I talked about possible solutions- move Tiny’s crib to one of the walls with window and hope she won’t mess with the cordless blackout blinds, get a crib tent for Buba’s crib, do nothing and just keep dealing night by night. It might surprise you to know that we chose the last option. But here’s the thing- Buba only climbs into Tiny’s crib once. After we put him back in his crib, he’s done and will go to sleep.

It was all very puzzling to me until Thursday night. It wasn’t long after we’d said our good nights that I heard Buba scream as though his arm had just been cut off. I went back into the kids’ room to find him still in his crib, but screaming and reaching towards Tiny’s crib. I asked him what was wrong and he told me repeatedly, “My needa monkey.” I instantly knew what he meant. Tiny has a soother attached to her crib that has a monkey who swings back and forth while soft music plays. Buba has one too, but his is a fish, and he wants a monkey.

I turned the monkey on, and Buba’s crying stopped immediately. Really? That was it. I walked back to the kitchen and told T what had just happened, and we both had the same thought. Perhaps another monkey soother would keep Buba in his crib. As I thought back about all the nights I had gone in to put him back into his crib, I recalled that most of the time, he was caught either turning the soother on or standing right in front of it and watching the activity inside. Maybe the climbing out is all about getting to the monkey and turning it on, which is why he’s okay with being put back in his crib.

So on Friday, I set out in search of another monkey crib soother. I first checked multiple message boards to see if I could pick up a used one, but there weren’t any for sale in our area. Amazon.com sells one and I could get free shipping, but I decided to try Toys R Us first. They had exactly one left, but for $45, I decided to let them keep it. T said we’d place the Amazon order after the kids were in bed, but of course, last night was the first in many, many, many nights that Buba did not climb into Tiny’s crib. So who knows what’s going on? Does he need a monkey or not?

T and I decided again to go back to our do nothing plan. The monkey soother is in our Amazon.com shopping cart, but I’m no longer convinced that it would be money well spent. I suppose only time will tell.