Short on Time

I’m not really sure why I thought I’d have any time at all to relax this summer and attempt to make a dent in the booklist I put together for summer reading. T’s last day of teaching was June 22nd, and having two parents home should make life easier, right? In theory, I suppose.

The thing is, T (who is our major bread winner since I took a leave of absence in 2008 and then resigned just this past winter) doesn’t get paid through the summer months. We go ten weeks every summer (well, every summer since 2008) without any steady income. When we had two incomes, it was no big deal. We’d put more than enough money aside and coast comfortably through the summer months without a care in the world. But a family of 4 living on a public school teacher’s salary is hard enough, and there’s rarely anything left over to be put away once our mortgage and bills are taken care of. Still, we’re pretty frugal and always manage to make it through.

But a big part of our summer survival is my tutoring side gig. During the school year, I only tutor about 5 hours a week. But in the summer I have to take on as many requests as I get, because it’s crucial to our survival. Fortunately (and unfortunately), I’ve had more than enough requests for tutoring sessions this summer. It’s great to not have to worry about income, but I’m nonstop busy all day long. And when I’m not tutoring, I’m planning lessons. Every kid’s lesson is individually tailored to his/her needs, so it takes a fair amount of planning- including time logged in at the Staples copy center and time spent reading my student’s summer reading books- to make it all go smoothly.

And, of course, I’ve not given up much of my mommy role. I’m too invested, and don’t want my kids to miss out on playdates or storytimes if I can help it. Plus I’m still making it to the gym 3-5 times per week, which means, at the end of the day, there really hasn’t been much time to relax even if I’d wanted to.

Still, I’m enjoying the summer, now having gotten used to the craziness of it, and Tiny and Buba are really enjoying the extra time with their daddy. T and I have our anniversary coming up next month, and family coming to town in July and August. There will be fun at the fair, picnics in the park, and time at the pool in the not too distant future. So I’ll definitely schedule in some down time… for September.

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Update on Tiny: Thanks for all the well wishes. We went to see the pediatrician on Tuesday, and he said her cut was healing just fine. We have to change her band aid 2-3 times per day, which she is not fond of, and the hardest part is trying to keep it clean while still allowing her to have some outdoor fun. Hopefully by early next week, it will have scabbed and we can remove the band aids from the equation. She’ll definitely have a scar, but it should fade over time.

Water Play Weekend

Saturday morning, T and I took Buba and Tiny to wash the fire trucks in the center of town. It’s an event organized by our town’s family focused organization and tends to happen once a year (maybe twice, we’re fairly new to this group). We got there right at the starting time and were pleased to see many of Tiny and Buba’s playmates from library storytime were there as well. The kids, however, skipped the hellos and headed straight for the buckets of sudsy water.

Both Tiny and Buba had a great time washing the trucks and playing in the water.

And they each got to take a turn sitting in the cab of the fire truck.

Before we left, the fire fighters passed out hats, fire safety coloring books, and stickers. After close to an hour, Buba was ready to go, but I’m pretty sure Tiny could have stayed all day.

Sunday afternoon, just as the Buba and Tiny were getting up from their nap, it began to pour as if someone had opened a fire hydrant in the sky. The kids stood watching the rain at the window and whined a bit about not being able to go outside to play. Fortunately the storm only lasted about 30 minutes, and then the sun was shining again. It was way too wet to play in the yard, but perfect for going out for a puddle walk.

There was a nice big puddle right in front of our house, and Tiny had the best time jumping up and down in it. It wasn’t long before her shorts were soaked all the way through, and we had to double over the waistline to keep them from falling down. Buba wasn’t much of a jumper, but he still loved dragging his feet through the water.

Our house is on a slight downhill, and it wasn’t long before Tiny and Buba started to follow the little stream near the curb down to the bottom of the street. There were some fantastically large puddles down at the end, and Tiny was in heaven (we didn’t get any still pictures, but I think T got a few video clips with his iPod).

Unfortunately the fun was cut short when Tiny fell into a puddle and came up screaming with blood dripping pretty heavily from her right hand. I picked her up and rushed her into the house. T put her in the bathtub and did his best to clean the wound and stop the bleeding. Honestly, he was completely calm and amazing, and I don’t know what I’d have done if he wasn’t there. My head was spinning in a crazy panic, and I felt as if I could throw up or pass out at any moment (no Mom of the year award for me). I managed to call the doctor’s office and got connected to a nurse at the affiliated hospital. She explained how to stop the bleeding, how to clean and bandage the wound, and how to know whether or not we would need to go to the emergency room for stitches. We determined that stitches were not necessary, and T continued to treat a hysterical Tiny while I did my best to calm her down. Buba was left completely on his own during this time and may have made several overseas calls, as I’d left the phone well within his reach. Fortunately, he didn’t talk long.

As soon as the bandage was on, Tiny calmed down enough to request a Popsicle.

Unfortunately, Tiny had a rough day today. She just wasn’t herself and seemed to fall apart at the drop of a hat. To make matters worse, she fell on her owie and it started to bleed again. Depending on what it looks like in the morning, we may be headed for the walk in hours at our pediatrician’s office first thing. Still, as T pointed out, we have to consider ourselves lucky. We made it over 27 months with nothing more than bumps and scrapes. And we have no doubts that, stitches or not, she’ll be good as new in a week or so.

A Berry Good Morning

This morning, Tiny, Buba and I went strawberry picking. We went up to Parlee Farms (where we’d gone apple picking in October) and were supposed to meet up with a bunch of other moms from our town. But when we arrived at the entrance at about 10 minutes past the time we were supposed to get there, I didn’t see a single person from our group*. I asked around the farm stand to see if anyone knew of their whereabouts, but no on seemed to have even heard of our town’s little family organization. We certainly hadn’t driven 30 minutes just to go home empty handed, so I picked up a basket and followed the signs for strawberries.

We ended up in a good sized, but not enormous, field where I felt comfortable letting Buba and Tiny walk around on their own. I gave them a little talk before releasing them from the confines of our double stroller- Stay right by Mommy. Only pick the red ones. The bigger the berry the better. Stay right by Mommy. Put the berries in the basket- no eating until we pay. And stay right by Mommy.

Tiny was great at following my directions. She’d run ahead a little, pick one or two strawberries and then come right back.

Buba had a harder time remembering all of my rules. He ran off frequently, and didn’t come back when I called him (grrrrrrrr). When he went in for his first strawberry, he squeezed so hard that he squashed it completely and came back with a sticky hand and juice running down his arm. He did better when I showed him how to pull them gently, but still needed reminders about not putting the berries directly into his mouth.

Buba was restricted to berry picking while holding my hand for the last 10 minutes or so, but over all, I think our trip was pretty successful. And I’d definitely do it again. Buba and Tiny loved the juicy, delicious strawberries that we picked. They’re sure to be gone in no time.

*We ended up seeing a couple of the moms and kids from our town when we returned to the farm stand to pay. It turns out that our group was in a completely different strawberry field. Oh well. Still fun.

One Year Later

In early June 2009, Buba was found eligible for Early Intervention (EI) services. We’d asked for him to be evaluated because our pediatrician noted that he had a slight speech and language delay. Since that type of delay runs in our family, T and I knew that we wanted to act on services as soon as possible, to hopefully avoid further trouble in that area down the road.

However, when the EI team evaluated Buba, they also found a significant fine motor delay. Buba was not yet clapping and almost never used his left hand. While I was aware of these things, the news that he would also need occupational therapy (OT) on top of speech and language services (SP/LA) caught me off guard, and it took some time for me to come to terms with it.

Buba started working with an EI educator (for SP/LA services) and an occupational therapist in July of 2009 after we’d returned from our family vacation. Within just a few weeks, his speech improved dramatically, but his motor skills were not improving as quickly, and it was really tough for me to take in all the information his therapist was giving me about his difficulties with balance, sensory integration, and motor planning. There were several times when I would break down into tears after his sessions, because I just felt that I wasn’t doing enough to help him practice in those areas when we were at home on our own. At the same time, I just couldn’t believe that he was as impaired in those areas as his therapist was saying. Yes, he had trouble getting clothing on and off, but He’s just a little boy! I would think to myself. It also bothered me that the therapist didn’t often acknowledge when he had made gains. And if she did, it was often followed by something new that she’d noticed he now needed to work on.

So, I was kind of excited when I found out that a completely new team of EI staff members would be taking on Buba’s one-year evaluation (which was yesterday). I just wanted to see how he would be viewed by different therapists who’d had no previous experiences with him. The way I see it, Buba has made huge gains in both SP/LA and OT, but I wondered how the evaluation team would seem him.

It turns out that they saw what I see. In fact, he did so well with all the tasks and activities used to assess his skills that they found him to be ineligible for EI services. He has 45 more days to be phased out of the program, and then that’s it. Needless to say, this news was quite exciting! I mean, what parent doesn’t want to hear that their child no longer has any significant developmental delays?

But the sad thing is that our playgroup is through EI, and that may have to come to an end as well. We’ll try working with EI to see if Buba and Tiny can remain in the group as community kids (kids without delays who attend playgroup- technically, Tiny already is one), but it all depends on the numbers, and I have a feeling that there are already quite a few community kids in the group. We’ll continue going at least through July (which is part of our 45 days) and then just see what happens from there.

All in all, I can’t say enough good things about EI. Even with my issues with Buba’s occupational therapist, I still felt like everyone who has worked with my kids has been excellent and has had my kids’ best interests in mind (Tiny worked briefly with an EI nutritionist last summer). And while I do think there were other factors involved, I don’t doubt that the EI staff has played a huge role in helping Buba to be the amazing kid that he is today.

No Help Wanted

Tiny is fiercely independent these days. Sometimes this is a great thing. Other times it is not. I know that Tiny doing something “all by self” is going to take longer than if I were to do it, so I try to give her as much time as possible to complete her task. And it’s great when she’s able to do something herself. She is incredibly proud of her accomplishment, even if it is just throwing a tissue into the trash can inside the kitchen cabinet.

But when she’s working on something tricky- like getting dressed or putting on her shoes and socks- and time has run out, you’d think that my offer to help was really just a horrible threat in disguise. They way she screams, kicks, hits- it’s insane. And so far today, we’ve been through this twice. Once when she needed to get her shoes on to go out for a playdate (she had about 10 minutes to do so, and did manage to get one on during that time), and once when she wanted to peel a sticker off of it’s waxy paper just before nap time (she’d been working on it for about 5 minutes and refused to let me start it for her).

I’m all for raising independent kids, and I’m willing to allow extra time so that my kids can do something for themselves. But there are certainly times when we are up against time, and I need to teach Tiny that getting help is not a bad thing. Any suggestions?

All the Little Ducks are Swimming in the Water

This past Saturday, T and I took Tiny and Buba to the Ducky Race & Fair in a nearby town. This is the 5th year the event was held, and it serves as a fundraiser for a local preschool and sometimes other nonprofit organizations. It was our first time attending, and the kids had a blast!

We arrived about a half an hour early to avoid having to park too far away. Our first stop was at the ducky table, where for $10 you could buy a little, yellow, plastic ducky that would be thrown into a pool for a chance to be drawn (scooped out with a big pool cleaning net) for a $500 prize. Our duck was #1206, and we were asked to give it a name when we signed up for the drawing. I asked Tiny what she thought we should call it and she said, “All the little ducks are swimming in the water”, which is the first line in a song that both Buba and Tiny enjoy singing (we learned it from Buba’s EI teacher). That name seem a bit long for a little, yellow ducky, so we opted to call him Swimmy instead.

The event took place at a playground that was adjacent to a track, some baseball fields, and a swimming pool. The kids started off on the playground and then did some running around on the track. Just as we were coming off the track we saw some women setting up a small petting zoo with a goat, two small dogs, a small pig, two little rabbits, and a chicken. There were also some kittens and baby bunnies in cages nearby. We waited around while they finished setting up and were among the first to go in to see all the critters. Tiny and Buba had great fun petting the pig, goat, and doggies (especially the doggies). The women used baby blankets to tightly swaddle the kittens and baby bunnies and let the kids hold and pet them while sitting in the grass. Unfortunately, there were so many kids waiting, that we were only allowed 15 minutes in the petting zoo, but Buba and Tiny didn’t seem to mind when we told them we needed to move on to other things.

There was also a fire truck parked on the road, and Buba and Tiny got to climb up into the cab of the truck to see where the rescue workers sit and all the gear they have. Upon leaving, they each got shiny silver stickers branding them Junior Firefighters, which Tiny seemed to take very seriously.

We moved onto the library book sale just a few blocks away before picking up sandwiches and heading back for the ducky parade and drawing. Sadly, our little Swimmy did not win, but we all had fun waiting and listening as they drew ducks from the water for the $500 and various other prizes.

The only thing that would have made this experience even better would have been if I’d managed to snap a few pictures of the kids. I don’t know how other parents do it, but I was so afraid that if I took the time to try and snap a few photos, I’d lose my kids in the crowd. So that look on Tiny’s face as she stroked the baby bunnies ears and the look of wonder Buba had as he looked all around the fire truck’s cab will just have to remained engrained in my memory forever.

My Little Fashionista

I’ve never been someone with the cool clothes or the cool shoes. My mother went shopping and bought almost all of my clothes by herself until I was in high school, because I just wasn’t into that sort of thing. I’m still not a big fan of shopping. It’s so time consuming- looking, trying on, exchanging for a different size. Right now, I have such a small amount of clothing that my entire fall/winter and spring/summer wardrobes fit quite easily in my dresser and half of the closet I share with T.

Tiny, I feel, will be very different from me in this area. She’s been wanting a say in what she wears each day since last summer (about 15 months old). Ever morning, I have to offer her choices or be prepared to listen to the consequences. She knows her wardrobe like the back of her hand, and she’ll request specific articles of clothing that are not presented to try to get me to offer her something different. And she LOVES shoes. At Christmas time, she threw a big fit when I had to remove her fancy shoes because I knew they were too small for her feet. She screamed, “NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!” Even when I showed her the red marks and indentations the shoes had made on her feet.

So it didn’t surprise me at all that Tiny picked these shoes when we went shopping recently:

They were not at all what I had in mind when we headed to the shoe department at Target. I wanted a nice summer shoe- a sandal but with covered toes. Target had no such things for little girls, but it didn’t seem to matter. Because when Tiny saw those shoes with all the colors and sparkles, it was love at first sight. She put them on easily all by herself, and was just so happy to walk around in them that I knew we would be taking them home with us.

Snippets

I’m finally feeling back to my old self again. Finally. I’ve taken all the meds (7 days of eye drops, 10 days of antibiotics, and couch medicine and inhaler as needed), and the sore throat and cough are finally gone. Without the cough, I should be sleeping soundly through the night again, but alas, the night wakings continue (more on that later). I haven’t been to the gym in two weeks (since the sickness kicked in), but I’m planning to make my grand re-entrance tonight. I’d been back to going 4-5 nights a week since the end of March, and as of May 21st, I was up to 226.9 miles on my 500 miles in 2010 goal. I suppose I’ll need to ease back into my workouts, but hopefully in a week or so, I’ll be back on track again.

Today was week 5 of drop-off playgroup for Buba and Tiny. We didn’t have playgroup last Monday due to the holiday, but I did leave the kids at childcare when I went to book club on Friday. They both did fine there for almost 90 minutes, so I decided it was time to try leaving for a bit during playgroup today. We arrived about 5 minutes late, and both kids walked right in and started in with activities. I talked briefly with the teachers about my plans to leave and what to do to help soothe Buba should he be upset about my absence. My understanding is that he was fine until he got spooked by some loud noises in the music area, and that’s when Buba lost it. But still, I got to spend almost 30 minutes down in the waiting room by myself before needing to return to take my place at the mommy bench. And that seems like huge progress to me. Plus, Buba was totally fine with going to circle time and snack time this week. Yes, I still had to accompany him, but he didn’t cry as he had during previous weeks.

Buba is still wearing undies during the day. He is now telling me when he has to go, or will just go to the potty in our house and go all by himself. He has very few pee accidents and no poop accidents. However, he still will only poop in a diaper at nap and/or nighttime. I’ve tried enticing him with a reward and putting him on the potty right before nap and nighttime, but still no successes in that department. Maybe by the end of summer, I hope…

Tiny continues to wake at night on a fairly regular basis (maybe 4-5 nights a week). At first I thought is was bad dreams, then I thought it was out of need to use the potty. I am no longer convinced that it is either of these things. T and I have been taking turns going in to soothe them (because inevitably, Buba always wakes up too), and it usually just takes a minute or two, but the fragmented sleep definitely isn’t good for any of us. I’ve begun reading the months 22-36 section in the Weissbluth sleep book, and we may try to implement some of the strategies in there. This week I’ll just be collecting data so I know for sure exactly how often the night wakings are occurring.

I’m way, way behind on my blog reading again (especially on those with daily or multiple posts each week), but I hope to catch up soon. Many thanks to Mandy from My Life as Described by Twin Trials and Triumphs for passing on the Trendy Blog Award. We’ve recently bonded through our only-child-all-grown-up-and-now-raising-twins connection and have enjoyed swapping book and CD titles. If you haven’t already checked out her site, you definitely should!

On the Mend

Thanks for all the well wishes. I am finally beginning to feel healthy again, although it may take a bit longer for my voice to recover.

T took Buba and Tiny to his parents’ house both Saturday and Sunday so I could rest in peace and quiet at home. I stayed in bed almost the whole time- reading blogs, watching Nexflix, and taking naps- and got up only to take my meds (antibiotic, eye drops, and cough syrup) and use the bathroom. It sort of felt like bedrest all over again, although with much different discomforts. By Monday morning I could tell I was beginning to feel better, but I was still coughing quite a bit.

Yesterday was my first day on my own with Tiny and Buba, and it was also the first day that I could go more than 15 minutes without coughing. We ran a quick errand in the morning, and then the kids played outside for over an hour while I sat in the shade and tried not to fall asleep. When nap time came, I took a nap as well.

The toughest part about me being sick has been getting rid of my cough. The cough keeps me from falling asleep and also wakes me up in the middle of the night. Fortunately, each day I’ve been coughing less and less, and I hope by the end of the week, the cough will be completely gone.

Being sick these last few days has made me realize that I probably need some sort of back-up plan for when/if this ever happens again. What do SAHM’s do when they get sick, but still have healthy, energetic kids to care for? Perhaps I need to start a temp agency that sends out substitute mommies in these types of situations. Or maybe such a business already exists.