Sick Days
Back in the days when I was teaching in a nearby public school, I used to get 14 sick days at the start of each school year. I could use them to stay home on days that I was too sick to be in school or for days when I needed to go to a doctor appointment. I could request an entire sick day or just a half sick day, and any days not used by the end of the school year would rollover into the next year.
It was nice to know that if I had to be out sick, I could take a sick day and not have to give up a day’s worth of wages, but I rarely ever used them. Because the downside of taking a sick day is having to write up a sub plan, wherein you must spell out in great detail what is to be done in your classroom all day long. And then I would have to get all the materials in order so the substitute would have everything needed to teach all the day’s lessons. Honestly, it was usually a whole lot easier to show up and do the best I could than to call in sick.
But this past week, I would have given anything to have been able to call in sick to my SAHM gig. I thought I just had a cold, but man, did I feel awful and completely wiped out. My head was pounding, my nose was either completely stuffed up or running like a faucet, I was barking like seal, and my throat was so sore that I was trying to get by on a yogurt/ice cream diet along with cup after cup of hot tea. As the week went on, the coughing got worse and worse, to the point where I was unable to get a decent amount of sleep. I was pretty miserable, but thought I just needed to let the cold run its course until Friday morning when I woke up with my eyes glued shut with yellow/green gunk. At that point I knew that I needed to get to the doctor’s office.
And it was a good thing that I went, because it turns out that I have an upper respiratory infection, an ear infection, conjunctivitis, and a cough that requires full-strength prescription cough syrup. I left the doctors office with four prescriptions and orders to “take it easy” for a couple of days. Ha! No chance of that happening yesterday with two toddlers to care for.
So today, I called in sick. T agreed that the only way for me to really get some rest was for the kids to be out of the house. So Tiny and Buba are off visiting Grammy and Grandpa, and I am home in bed. Resting. And while it’s not the sort of “me time” I’ve been hoping for, so far it feels really good to just lay around and do nothing. I suppose I’ll catch up on blogs, watch a little Hulu, and do a some reading for bookclub, but it’s nice to know that I can just lay back and close my eyes anytime I want to. And hopefully, with T taking charge of the kiddos all weekend, by Monday, I’ll be as good as new.
Drop-off Playgroup, Weeks 3 and 4
Week three at playgroup (a week ago from yesterday) was pretty similar to week two except that Buba started crying the moment we walked into the room, so I never even got a chance to see how he would handle me leaving again. One of the teachers decided (and I agreed) that he’s just not ready for the separation piece yet. I stayed in the room the whole time and joined him at the activities to keep him from being glued to my side at the mommy bench.
Yesterday, at the week four session, I began to see a glimmer of hope that I might someday be able to drop-off my kids at this drop-off playgroup. For starters, I told Buba and Tiny that I would be staying in the room while they played. (This was something the lead teacher and I had agreed on at the end of week 3.) I also decided that we would purposely arrive 5 minutes late when all the other kids would be settled into activities and the other moms would already be gone. These two things seemed to help. Buba walked right into the playroom and began playing with a teacher who was using dot paint to make drawings on a table covered with white butcher paper. (Note to self, never ever send the kids to playgroup in any clothing I would be sad if they ruined while playing.) Tiny headed straight to the water play area.
So, I sat myself down on the mommy bench only to realize that I hadn’t brought one single thing to amuse myself with, thinking I’d be out at the activities with Buba. Luckily, there were some magazines beside the bench, and I quickly began leafing through them. Throughout the free-play hour, Buba came to check in with me several times (more frequently as we got closer to the hour mark), but was always able to go back to an activity with me having to go with him. The only time he cried was when I went to use the bathroom. Otherwise, he transitioned to circle time and snack time without any tears (these were two big firsts for him!).
At this point, the plan is that I will continue to remain in the room, on the mommy bench, until Buba gets used to playing without needing so many check-ins with me. It could be just one more week or perhaps a few more weeks. Whatever it takes, I’m happy to do what I can to help him take the big leap into attending playgroup without me being there.
I Singing
Buba loves, loves, LOVES to sing. He sings mostly nursery rhymes, but every now and then, he puts new words to a familiar tune to get his point across…
To the tune of Frere Jacques after eating a free cookie from the bakery at the grocery store:
I lika mo cookie, I lika mo cookie
I lika mo, I lika mo
Mo cookie mo cookie, Mo cookie mo cookie
I lika mo, I lika mo
At first it surprised me that he would do something like this, but when I really thought about it, it made sense, because it’s something I do (and have done) for a long time. And I seem to do it more with Buba than with Tiny. When he’s really upset, this song can usually calm him down. Think of the song I’ve Been Workin’ on the Railroad, and skip ahead to the “Fee, fie, fiddle-e-i-o” part. That’s the tune these lyrics go with:
Bye-bye, Mr. Cry
Bye-bye, Mr. Cry-y-y-y
Bye-bye, Mr. Cry
Bye-bye, Mr. Cry. Bye-bye!
Both Tiny and Buba know these made-up lyrics well, and will even sing them to each other when one of them is upset. But Buba is the one who seems to have really caught on to the idea that you can set any words to music, and he’s really taken off with it lately. And weather it’s This Old Man or Booger Booger Booger Boog (sung to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star), when Buba announces, “I singing!” I know it’s going to be worth my while to take a few minutes to listen. I could just listen to his sweet, little voice all day long.
Don’t Say Don’t
I’m sure you’ve heard this before. That those of us who live with young children should avoid saying the word don’t. Instead of saying what not to do, we should be telling our kids what they should do. So, we say things like, “hands off” instead of “don’t touch”. But do you know why this way of communication is recommended?
Last Wednesday, I went to a parenting workshop on Positive Discipline, and the presenter gave a very good reason why we should avoid the word don’t. She, like me, had always thought that it was just better, more positive, to tell a young child what he should do instead of what he shouldn’t. But then she read a study (not listed in her handouts, and I cannot remember who she cited) that concluded that young children actually don’t hear the word don’t. So when we say, “don’t touch” they hear “touch”. That being the case, it’s no wonder that they do exactly what we’ve just said not to.
Sitting in the workshop, I noted this bit of information as interesting, but didn’t think much about it until a few days later when I was coaching Buba on what to say to get Tiny to stop messing with him. It went something like this:
Me: Buba, if you don’t like what Tiny is doing you have to say, “No! No!”
Buba: No! No!
Me: Tell her, “I don’t like it!”
Buba: I like it!
Me: No, say, “I don’t like it!”
Buba: I like it!
And that’s when that bit from the workshop really clicked for me. I wish I could find that study (perhaps a Google search will turn up something), because I’m so curious to know how it was conducted and how old the subjects were. But for now, I’ve been trying to avoid the “don’t commands” as much as I can. It’s a bit harder than I thought it would be, as saying don’t seems to come more naturally, and of course, is a much faster way to say what I want to say. But I’ll keep trying, because it seems to be working a bit better.
Sleep Interrupted
It was last Tuesday night (technically Wednesday morning) at about 3:15am. Up until that point, I was sleeping peacefully. But at that moment I was ripped from a deep sleep by the sound of Tiny’s cries. They were strong and loud and this was very unusual. But I didn’t jump up right away. Because sometimes, not often but sometimes, she does cry out in her sleep for a few minutes. And without any intervention, the crying stops, and the night goes on as usual.
But on that particular night, the crying didn’t stop, and by 3:25am, Tiny wasn’t just crying, she was screaming, “Mommy! Mommy!” This had never happened before. Never. She had never ever called for me in the middle of the night. Not even when she was sick with a stomach bug.
I rolled over towards T, and we both agreed that I should break our no intervention policy and go to her. When I got to the kids’ room, Tiny was standing up in her crib, and she immediately reached out for me. Unfortunately, Buba began to stir at that same moment, so now I had two crying kids on my hands. I quickly removed Tiny from the bedroom and took her into the kitchen, thinking that maybe Buba wasn’t fully awake and would go back to sleep, but no such luck. He continued to cry and scream for me as I worked to calm Tiny down.
The whole house was dark, and I could see that Tiny was somewhat surprised by that. As I checked to see if she felt feverish, I explained that it was still nighttime and that T and Pokey were sleeping. I told her that she and Buba needed to go back to sleep too and asked if she was ready to go back to her crib. She agreed, and then I went through the whole thing again with Buba.
With both kids calm again, I headed back to bed. I could hear them chatting for another 30 minutes or so, and was still awake more than an hour after I’d first heard Tiny’s cries. But in the morning, I still felt fairly rested and just hoped that the night waking was a one-time only deal.
Unfortunately, that was not the case. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights both kids slept right through as usual, but Saturday night (technically Sunday morning) just after midnight, Tiny woke up crying again. Her cries were not quite as loud, and I hoped she’d fall back to sleep quickly, but she didn’t. She was screaming, “Mommy! Mommy!” just as before, but this time I felt more conflicted about what to do. If I went to her, would the night waking become a habit? Would Tiny start to expect to see me in the middle of the night? But before I even rolled over to voice my thoughts, T said, “Don’t go in.” He was thinking that the night wakings would only continue if Tiny knew I would come each time and that she was old enough to self-soothe and get herself back to sleep.
So I didn’t go in, but I sent T to discreetly scope out the situation. He came back to report that she seemed fine, was not caught in the crib bars or anything and that she appeared to be winding down. Right about this time, Buba woke up and cried a bit, but he was able to get back to sleep pretty quickly and luckily slept through the rest of Tiny’s on and off crying, which lasted about 50 minutes in total.
By 1:15am, the house was quiet again (except for T’s snoring), so I quietly crept down to the kids’ room to see for myself that Tiny was okay. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to fall back to sleep without checking in on the kids for myself. Once I saw that they were both sleeping peacefully, I crawled back into bed and hoped to sleep soundly until morning.
Unfortunately, it turned out to be a horrible night for me. While everyone else slept the night away, I tossed and turned and had horrible dreams when I did finally sleep. I think I may have gotten roughly 4 hours of sleep that night, and I woke feeling groggy and cranky.
Thankfully, last night we all slept soundly, but who knows what’s in store for the nights ahead. I mean, we’ve had 17 months of kids’ sleeping through the night, and I guess I just assumed that it would continue that way forever. Why is Tiny suddenly waking up when she’s been such a good sleeper for so long? I suppose I should go and dig out the Weissbluth book before I find myself awake in the middle of the night again wondering what to do.
Drop-off Playgroup, Week 2
Given how well our first week of playgroup went, I wasn’t really expecting any trouble in week two. But I guess I should have known better. I assumed that because Buba and Tiny have always been okay in the childcare room when I go to my monthly book club meeting, that they would be fine playing with all the kids, toys, and teachers at the playgroup without me being in the room. But, I’m pretty sure I only spent about five minutes in the parent waiting room before being called back to the playroom.
The plan was that I would spend five to ten minutes in in the playroom at the beginning of playgroup and then leave once Buba and Tiny appeared to be comfortably settled in. At the time of my departure, Tiny was busy playing with baby dolls, and Buba was playing with other boys in the airplane/truck area. I gave them both kisses and told them I’d be back when playtime was over. They both seemed fine with me leaving.
I went down the hall to the waiting room, and had just enough time to login to my email account on the computer they have in there, when I heard Buba’s cry loud and clear. I waited to see if it would die down, and when it didn’t, I wasn’t surprised to see the EI teacher standing in the doorway telling me that my presence would be required for another session.
So what happened? Apparently Buba had gone to the craft table where children were gluing small, foam shapes onto green construction paper with orange glue/paint. There was a pie tin full of the foam shapes in the middle of the table, and Buba picked it up and walked off with it. When the teacher went after Buba and asked him to take the pie tin back to the table, Buba lost it and could not be consoled. My guess is that he thought he was in trouble and felt scared without me there.
Unfortunately, me coming back into the room didn’t help much. I was sent over to the mommy bench, where moms who need to be in the room are supposed to just sit and observe. But Buba was shaken up to the point that he didn’t want to play with anyone or anything unless I was there with him. It didn’t seem right for him to be stuck to my side on the mommy bench, so I left my post and tried to get him involved in some of the play stations/activities. However, each time he seemed fully engaged and I would try to head back to the mommy bench, he’d drop whatever he was doing to come back with me. This went on during the entire free play portion of the playgroup.
Then, just before clean-up, I was informed that Tiny had had a potty accident (sadly, she wet her pants for the second time that morning*), and I had to abandon Buba for a bit to get her into new clothes. Fortunately, he was fine at that point. I don’t believe he helped with the clean-up, but at least he didn’t cry.
As the kids all headed over to the carpeted bench for circle time, Tiny went fearlessly and sat right down between a little boy and one of the teachers. Buba, however, cried again as I lead him over to the circle, but calmed down quickly and was able to sit on the bench instead of in my lap as he had the previous week. The good news was that both he and Tiny participated fully in circle time this week. Last week, they refused to take their turns bouncing on the big yoga ball as the others sang a welcoming song to them (as is done for each child), but this week they went right up when their names were called. They also participated as best they could when it was time to sing songs and play a cooperative game.
After circle time (again, only about ten minutes long), the kids headed over to the sink to wash hands before snack. Tiny remembered how wonderful this experience had been, and eagerly walked over holding another boy’s hand. Buba had to be carried over, crying the whole way. I took him right up to the sink so he could watch everyone else wash their hands, and then I helped him wash his own. He was still crying when I took him to the table for snack, but the words, “Would you like cake?” got him smiling again.
Although it would be great if next week we could truly have a drop-off experience, I think it’s safe to say that it’s going to be a while until we get to that point. This is the first time my kids have been in a more structured play setting, and they’ll need some time (Buba especially) to become familiar and comfortable with all the rules and transitions. The lead EI teacher assured me that both Buba and Tiny are having typical experiences for first-timers, and that this will all be old hat in a few more weeks.
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*Tiny has done exceptionally well at staying dry and clean since we did her potty training back in January. For whatever reason, she was just off that morning. And fortunately, she’s been dry and clean ever since.
reanbean Tiny & Buba: Children's Book Week great children's books
by reanbean
8 comments
A Few Good Books
If you visit this blog regularly, you probably already know that I used to be an elementary teacher. Over eight years of teaching, I taught grades one, three, and four, and I am currently tutoring students in grades two, five, and six. But what you may not know is that I am also a licensed reading specialist. I love teaching kids to read, love reading children’s books, and do everything I can to pass on a love of reading to all the children I work with.
So it tickles me to no end to see how much my own kids love books. We have certain times during the day when we almost always sit down and read books together (first thing in the morning, before nap, after dinner, before bed), and it isn’t uncommon for Tiny or Buba to bring T or me a book at some other point in the day and request that we read to them. For a long time, they both have enjoyed looking at books on their own, and just recently, they’ve begun to read aloud some of their favorites to themselves or to each other. Books like Good Night, Gorilla, Baby Bear, Baby Bear What Do You See?, and Pajama Time are among the many that Buba and Tiny have heard so many times that they feel confident telling the story on their own.
We literally have hundreds of children’s books in our house (T teaches elementary students too, so we get tons of bookstore gift cards), and we try to rotate around the ones we have out in book boxes every few weeks. Current favorites include Miss Spider’s ABC, Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You?, and Hey! Wake Up! But a brand new favorite that we’re all enjoying is called Little Blue Truck. For those who don’t know this one (I certainly didn’t until a couple of weeks ago), it’s about a very friendly little blue truck who beeps hello to all the animals he passes going down the road. Then along comes the big, unfriendly dump truck. He’s got “big, important things to do” and doesn’t have time to say hello to the little guys out there. Of course, when dump gets stuck in the mud, little blue truck and his friends are there to help him out, leaving dump a much friendly truck by the end of the story. Although the text is longer than a typical Sandra Boynton favorite, it’s written in rhyme and includes animal and truck sounds.
Now that Buba and Tiny have become more interested in books with longer texts, I’m looking forward to sharing some of my personal favorites with them in the near future (Blueberries for Sal, George and Martha One Fine Day, Bread and Jam for Frances, The Poky Little Puppy, etc, etc, etc…).
And in case you didn’t know, today is the kickoff to Children’s Book Week, so it’s the perfect time to discuss great books for kids. Please share with me some of the books you enjoy reading with your kids, as well as your own personal favorites from childhood. I can’t wait to share so new ones with Tiny and Buba, so don’t hold back. The more the merrier!
Potty Training: I Wouldn’t Use the Word “Trained” Yet
It has been almost three weeks since we started our second attempt of potty training with Buba. He hasn’t worn a diaper during waking hours since April 16th, but I certainly wouldn’t used the word trained to describe what we’ve got going on. Yes, he does pee in the potty, but he does not yet tell us when he has to go.
So, it’s like this: All day long I’m saying, “Remember to tell Mommy when you have to use the potty. Keep your big boy underpants dry and clean.” And most of the time Buba’s response is, “No.”, meaning he doesn’t have to go. Sometimes he’ll say, “Need go potty.” And then he’ll go to the potty and go. But if it so happens that I don’t suggest that he tell me when he needs to go, at a time when he actually needs to go (make sense?), he’ll have an accident. And he hasn’t pooped in the potty since day one. He waits for his nap or nighttime diaper, and then wakes up with a rash all over his bum.
There are certain times of the day when I’ll insist that Buba sit on the potty and try to go (before we leave the house, before bath, and before nap or nighttime diapers are put on). He doesn’t resist these requests, and nine times out of ten, he will go. Buba has only had one accident outside of our home, and he seems really proud of the fact that he’s wearing big boy underpants. But the accidents don’t seem to phase him one bit. And man, is it exhausting to be reminding him all day long.
I asked Buba one day after he’d had three accidents in a short period of time (it was really hot, so I’d given him a lot of water to drink) if he’d rather wear diapers all the time, and his answer was, “I wear big boy unna pants. I making pee ina potty.”
So where does this leave us? In all honesty, I’m not really sure. For those who have potty trained children or who are currently working on it, what do you think? Are we on the right track? Is the constant need for reminding just par for the course? And how the heck do I get him to poop in the potty?
The Humpty Who Winner is…
#10 Dolli-Mama
(selected by True Random Number Generator at RANDOM.ORG)
Congratulations, Dolli-Mama! Your copy of Humpty Who? will be sent to you shortly. And thanks so much to all of you who participated in the giveaway. Stop by again soon!
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I’m not talented enough to know how to post the graphic from RANDOM.ORG here on my blog. I tried to cut and paste, but this was all I got.
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