Seconds
It’s starting to happen. Those mommy friends of mine, whose first borns are roughly the same age as Buba and Tiny, are starting to have seconds. And so it was, at breakfast this morning, that I had the following conversation with Tiny…
Me: Guess what! Ona’s mommy has a new baby!
(No reaction whatsoever from Buba.)
Tiny: Ona’s mommy have new baby. (thinking… processing…)
Me: That’s right. A little, tiny baby.
Tiny: It go rock-a-bye baby. (Tiny says, doing the sign for baby.)
Me: Yes. Now Ona has a little sister.
Tiny pauses for a minute and then looks at me with eyebrows low and a little crinkle in the middle of her forehead.
Tiny: Tiny, no have little sister. (She says shaking her head from side to side.)
Me: (I’m smiling, but my eyes are getting all teary.) That’s right. Tiny doesn’t have a little sister. But you have a brother, and that’s lots of fun. Right?
Tiny: (looking over at Buba) Dats lota fun.
I know that Tiny’s comment about not having a little sister was not so much a request or a longing on her part, but just her way of a making sense of things. (She processes like this all the time, but that’s for another post.) But I couldn’t help feeling a little sad, knowing that my baby days are over for good and Buba and Tiny will not have another sibling.
T started saying “one and done” the moment we found out we were having twins. But I held out hope for a long time that we would have just one more. Every time the topic was up for discussion, it wasn’t fun. We both held firm on our positions, and finally, just last spring, I gave in. Tiny and Buba were just over a year old and I was working on making our travel plans back to my hometown in Iowa. After almost having a heart attack over what the airfare was going to cost us (we bought the kids seats, at the recommendation of another MOT) I began to imagine how much more it would be if we had a third child (or, gasp!, another set of twins). Suddenly T’s argument regarding the costs of having a larger family began to make sense, and I told him that I could be perfectly happy with our family of four.
And I am perfectly happy. But I still think sometimes about what it would be like to have just one more.
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I feel for you! I am pregnant with twins right now, and we already have a 2 y/o so hubby is very firm on the whole “we are done” stand. He was firm on it before we found out we were having twins, so I should feel blessed that we had a “bonus baby”, but I am still sad that these will be our last babies. I know a family of 5 is plenty, but I am not ready to be done forever. Oh, well. Great post!
Ah, yes, I remember when that age hit and all of our similarly-aged (singleton) friends started getting pregnant again and having more babies.
I think it’s almost always bittersweet to decide that you’re all done. Especially when the heart wants one thing but the head knows “better.”
I totally understand that. 
My hubby and I are on very opposite sides of the fence. My head completely understands his perspective, but my heart just isn’t there yet. I never pictured myself having to make this kind of decision…it’s excrutiating. I literally have 4 baby gifts to mail to friends this week. I’m happy for them, but it makes my heart ache at the same time. UGH…
I am sure it’s weird having a Dad chime in, but I can sympathize with you. I am blessed to have a wonderful and adventurous wife. When we were dating we discussed children, and I said I always wanted a large family. Then she asked ‘what does large mean?’, and without hesitating I fired back “13″ (‘cuz that’s a soccer team with subs). Her jaw nearly hit the ground, but she’s good at rolling with the punches.
While Robyn has been open to what the Lord plans for us, I don’t think she grew up with the idea of a large family, but she’s definitely been a trooper on this adventure, particularly since she is the vessel and bears the brunt of the pregnancy and post-pregnancy labor.
We now have 9 children (7 biological and 2 adopted). I have taken to working nights to be available to Robyn and the children during the daytime (love coffee, plenty of time to sleep when you’re dead). Guys at work have kidded me about the children, but I always say ‘takes one pot to make mac & cheese for 1 kiddo, and one pot to make mac & cheese for 20″.
Since then I have also learned that a ‘full quiver’ is 15–FIFTEEN! But Robyn thinks this will be it for us. I am open to more if the Lord moves her, but I am also thrilled that we have grown our family thus far.
On the other hand, I will say the economics of it are not for everyone. The children are only 10 and under, and we regularly go through about 2 boxes of cereal each AM (one of my 2-year-olds is on his third bowl already), 1 to 1.5 loaves of bread each lunch, and we pick up 7 gallons of milk each time we go shopping (about every 5-7 days). Plus diapers, clothes (thank God for hand-me-downs), etc.
Like I said, I love having a large family, but it is not for everyone.
Best wishes to all those Moms, and I will keep you and your families in our prayers.
Awww, it’s been too long since I’ve hung out with Tiny (and Bubba!). She’s really beginning to sound like a big girl now.
Going through the newborn “thing” for the first time, I don’t know how you did this with twins. The fact that you secretly want to do this again makes you my hero!
Very cute Tiny! Even though I have 3, there are still times that i think 1 more, then I smarten up
No, really we are done. We had the discussion when I was pregnant with the twins and decided that we have 2 boys and a girl and couldn’t ask for more, so we’re done! Plus my body just does not deal well with pregnancy even though I loved being pregnant!