Potty Training: Thought Process and Implementation

About two weeks ago, I mentioned that I might be ready to start potty training with Tiny. She was showing some of the readiness signs- telling me when she needed a diaper change, pulling down her pants by herself, talking about the potty and big girl panties- and a couple of family members had commented that it might be time for us to attempt to ditch her diapers. I was willing to try, even somewhat excited to begin the process, but had no idea how to begin.

So, I looked through some parenting books geared towards the toddler years* and skimmed the Mayo Clinic’s potty training web pages (at Sadia’s suggestion). Of course, I found a ton of interesting information. However, the more I read, the more conflicting information I found. Some authors/experts believed that toddlers weren’t really ready for potty training until age 2 or older, while another boasted that potty training could begin as early as 9 months with success for some by 12 months. Some felt it was important for potty training to be self-initiated by the child, while another felt it was the parent’s job to introduce and teach the child how to use the potty. The pro early-training author said that once upon a time, the majority of toddlers were potty trained by 18-24 months and that disposable diapers and busy parents had created the trend of potty training kids in their 2′s and 3′s. And still, another author said that no parent should really be concerned about potty training issues until his/her child was older than 4. It was enough to make my head spin. Was Tiny ready or was she still to young? It seemed I might not really know until we gave it a try.

And so we did. Monday, the diaper came off after breakfast and I spent most of the morning cleaning up accidents all over the house, as well as logging all the times we sat on the potties and all the times the accidents occurred. We spent lots of time sitting on the potties and reading books about kids who were learning how to use the potty, and just before bedtime, Tiny had her first successful experience on the potty. And while I knew that there were most likely many more clean-ups in my future, this one little success story gave me hope that my decision to give potty training a try was not completely crazy.

The following three days were much the same. Tiny has had 1-2 successful potty experiences each day, but there are still more accidents than success stories. And she’s not particularly bothered by the accidents. She’ll tell me that she’s wet or that there is a “mess, mess, mess!” to clean up, but she’s not at all upset that she’s had an accident.

So I’m feeling very conflicted about how to proceed at this point. I know it’s only day 4, but part of me is thinking that I may want to abort this potty training plan for a while and try again in a few weeks. Although she’s been successful a handful of times when I’ve had her sit on the potty, she’s clearly not able to tell me when she needs to go. However, I’m wondering, if we go back to diapers, how will she learn? After all, most milestones take time and practice. Are accidents an important part of the practice that will eventually lead to independent success? Who knows!

Anyhow, my current plan (unless someone out there has some brilliant advice for me) is to stick with potty training through the weekend. If our success rate doesn’t improve, and if Tiny continues to rely on me telling her when it’s time to sit on the potty, then we may just put potty training aside for a while and try again later.

Please wish me luck. I’m going to need all I can get.

*resources: The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems (by teaching you how to ask the right questions) by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau, The First Two Years by Benjamin Spock, M.D., Toddler 411 (2nd Edition) by Denise Fields and Ari Brown, M.D.