In Fear of the Flu?
I can’t remember the last time I listened to the news and didn’t hear a report about H1N1. Unless anything has changed, it seems that H1N1 is rampantly spreading throughout Massachusetts, as well as across the nation and around the world. For some, this virus is deadly, but others recover with time and rest. The advice has been to get the seasonal flu shot AND the H1N1 vaccine, but to do so you may have to wait in line overnight. Because the number of vaccines available doesn’t even come close to the number of people who wish to be vaccinated. And so, in the mean time, we all must live in fear of the flu. Or do we?
I do not even attempt to hide the fact that I’m slightly germaphobic. I do not sit directly on public toilet seats (in fact, I avoid going to public bathrooms at all, if I can help it), I pull my hand inside my sleeve before opening doors, and I carry a bottle of hand sanitizer and/or wet wipes with me wherever my children and I go. When Buba and Tiny were infants we did not go to playgroups- partly because it was tough for me to get us there without disrupting our nap schedule, but mostly because I was so fearful of them mouthing on another baby’s toys (especially one who went to daycare).
But even I know that I can’t keep us locked in the house until cold and flu season passes us by. While I could probably handle it just fine, it wouldn’t be fair to Tiny and Buba (who have received their flu shots and the first of the H1N1 vaccines). However, that’s not to say that I’m just going to throw caution to the wind. I’m all about playing it safe. And for me, that means doing as much as I can to keep germs at bay.
So when we go out shopping, I opt to push my duo in our tandem stroller while I pull the shopping cart behind me. Yes, it make us look like a train, but I don’t have to worry about what germs they might be sitting in. We play with kids whose mothers know about my germ issues. While I tried to hide the crazy at first, it was so much easier to just confess my germaphobia to the other moms. They help redirect my kids (or their own) if they see a shared toy headed towards their mouths, and they always let me know ahead of time if their child is sick, has been sick, or might be coming down with something so I can decide whether to keep the playdate or reschedule.
But the truth is, my germaphobia is not something I wish to pass down to Tiny and Buba. I want them to be able to enjoy their childhood, and not be worried about the germs that are everywhere. So this fall, even with swine flu popping up all over the place, I let my guard down a little. Although we skipped signing up for gymnastics and will not be crawling in a large pool of plastic balls, we did join a storytime group at the library and continue to play at the local playground. This may not seem like a big deal, but it was huge for me.
Of course, I do wash my kids’ hands as soon as we get into the van. I just can’t help myself.
Well, it may help you to hear that they now say the fall swine flu peak has passed! Another one will come in mid-winter, supposedly, but at least the kids’ risk should be lower for the next few weeks. 
Letting go in flu season is hard for germophobes, so kudos for your efforts. However, be aware that your phobia may not hurt your kids too terribly much. In fact, it sounds more practical than truly phobic.
I recall my mother being a selective germophobe, to the point that it really impacted my childhood. I was not allowed to hold public stairway handrails because of germs, and consequently fell down the stairs a lot, with some pretty severe permanent scars. I was not allowed to eat at friends’ or relatives’ houses, which meant that I was not allowed to participate in family holidays. I wasn’t allowed to use bathrooms except at our house and at school, so I was chronically dehydrated.
Now that I’ve had my mother visit my own home, I realize that her germaphobia was more about being uncomfortable in unfamiliar surroundings. My mum doesn’t see what’s wrong with leaving used Kleenex on my dining table. Eeeeeeew.
Anyhow, I encourage my kids to use hand sanitizer, and we wash our hands a lot, but I don’t let germophobia curtail our activities, except when I suspect WE’RE the ones carrying germs. It sounds like you’ve achieved a good balance.
My kids? They know about germs. Jessica asked me to wash her blanket the other day after Melody cried into it, “because I don’t need Sissy’s germs. No, thank you!” Their school is pretty consistent with our home with their measures to reduce the sharing of germs.
I’m not a germ phobe normally, but this H1N1 things is making me crazy. I wasn’t going to give the kids’ the vaccine, but now we are whenever we can get it. We already had a scare with Eva Rose and the ER this year. Don’t want to to experience Children’s again if we can help it!