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Happy Birthday to You…

Although we’ve been celebrating since Wednesday, today is Tiny and Buba’s actual birthday. They’ve been having lots of fun playing with friends, visiting with family, and opening presents. We’ve been fortunate to have good weather (in the 50s) this weekend, and they were thrilled to try out their new bikes yesterday before going out for their birthday dinner.

Happy Birthday, Tiny! Happy Birthday, Buba! Love you!

The Twins

The following post is also posted over at How Do You Do It?, with only the endings being a bit different. I drafted this post for reanbean.com, but during the proofreading stage, decided it was a good fit for that community as well.

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Back when I was about six months pregnant, I happened to run into a former colleague at a district wide grade level meeting (which basically means that all the 1st grade teachers in the district were getting together to discuss curriculum). I hadn’t seen her in quite a while, but news of my twin pregnancy had reached her and she came over to congratulate me. “Oh good,” she said when I told her that we were expecting a boy and a girl. “People are much more likely to see them as individuals instead of a packaged deal. I just hate when my friend refers to her girls as the twins. They are two individual girls, and they should be treated as such.”

Her comment came as no surprise to me, as this very topic pops up quite often in the blogoshpere of parents of multiples. It’s not difficult to find a post where a parent writes about trying to distinguish their children for family and friends or passes on tips regarding how to find time for each child when time is something of which we never feel we have enough. And while parenting multiples has quite a few challenges, I imagine parenting identical children (I mean in appearance, of course) has a few more unique challenges on top.

But all this in mind, I have to confess that thus far (almost two years), I’ve done almost nothing to individualize my twins. It helps that I have one girl and one boy, and I rarely dress them alike, but I know that I can and should be doing more to help them develop their own sense of self. They are always together, and have only had a very small amount of one-on-one time with a parent.

And just recently, I’ve begun to wonder how they think of themselves and what they might be wanting. It is clear that they enjoy spending time together (for the most part), but Tiny can sometimes take it hard if Buba wants to go off on his own. She’ll go after him, take him by the hand, and bring him back to the activity that she wants him to play with her.  When I find a bit of time in the day to sit down and play with the kids, often Buba will wander off to do his own thing (read books or play with a toy that Tiny hogs) seeming to know that Tiny will be occupied with me and therefore won’t demand companionship from him.

It’s hard for me to know what’s best for them sometimes. I want them to be close, as singleton siblings might be, but not so extremely close that they can’t do anything without each other. Will this work itself out over time? Will they learn to be individuals when they go to school? Will they independently develop different interests that will lead them to separate activities? Or will I need to take a more active role to help these things happen? I just want to do the right thing, but right now, I’m not exactly sure what that is.

Who Will Be My Baby?

A couple of weeks ago, I happened to arrive at the gym just a few minutes after the family swim time had ended. The women’s locker room was packed with mothers and kids of all ages. One little boy (maybe 3 or 4 years old) was having a ton of fun as his mother was trying to get him and his slightly older sister ready to go. Whenever his mother turned her back, he would disappear into an empty locker and then wait for her to find him. After she’d finally gathered all of their things, she turned to find that he had disappeared again. “Come out, baby!” his mother called.

The boy jumped out from behind a locker door and indignantly replied, “I’m not a baby! I’m a big boy!”

The mother dropped everything and scooped him up into her arms. “But if you’re a big boy, who will be my baby?” she asked. The boy didn’t have an answer, but just sat there snuggling with his mom as I (now dressed and ready to workout) headed out to the gym floor.

It was just a few days later when it occurred to me that we are in the same boat. We were at a sing along at one of the local libraries, and I actually got a little teary as I watch my two sing along and perform all the motions that go with The Wheels on the Bus. Tiny and Buba are not as old as that mother’s little boy, but they are growing up, and so so fast…

Still, I remember that day in early March 2008 when T and I brought them home from the hospital and placed them side by side in the crib that is now just for Tiny.

They slept swaddled and snuggled up right next to each other no matter how far apart we placed them in the crib. Tiny always found a way to get right next to Buba.

A few weeks later, it was warm enough to start taking walks.

And not long after, they were staying awake long enough to enjoy playing with toys.

But mostly, they just hung out a looked around.

Then, before I knew it, they were rolling over and supporting their own heads. We loved taking Buba and Tiny outside that summer to play with toys on a picnic blanket.

And we started solids just as summer became fall.

Soon they were sitting

then crawling

and then walking all by themselves

And as days went by, it became very apparent that they were no longer babies anymore.

They haven’t been for quite some time now.

On Sunday, Tiny and Buba will turn two. And while I’m do miss (a little) those days when they were so small and dependent on me for everything, I can’t help but also feel excited about all the things we’ll be able to do this spring and summer now that they’re another year older.

Healthier Me: 100 Miles

After having a really great January, as far as exercising and healthy eating go, February was a pretty big bust. I’m not exactly sure where it all went wrong. It’s almost as though I put so much attention and effort into January, that I just didn’t have anything left for February. I made tons and tons of poor food choices, and skipped several nights of going to the gym just because I didn’t feel like going. And on several of the nights that I did manage to get myself to the gym, I just didn’t have the drive to really make myself work. So, February wasn’t my best month, and I’m hoping to turn things around in March.

However, there is one thing that I do feel is pretty remarkable considering my lack of effort in February. Last night, on the last day of February, I went over the 100 mile mark (101.5 to be exact) for the number of miles I’ve run in 2010.

Back at the start of 2010, LauraC and Erin, challenged each other to a road race to see who could be the first to run 500 miles in 2010. They invited people to join in the challenge and created a blog that lists all the participants’ stats (as well as posts about the participants, recipes, and workout tips). I thought a lot about joining the challenge, but I was just too scared to put myself out there. I was worried that I’d be blown away by participants who are serious runners, and that I’d end up looking foolish. However, I did decide to keep track of the miles that I put in on the treadmill and elliptical machine and made it a personal goal to reach 500 miles before the end of 2010.

Prior to January 1st, I was running roughly .5 miles before every strength training workout and about 2.5-3 miles on the days that I did only cardio workouts, which came to about 7 miles each week. I calculated that would need to run 10.4 miles every week in order to reach 500 miles by the end of the year. But I’ve actually been running an average of 12 miles per weeks (some weeks less, some weeks more), which has put me well on track to reaching my goal. In fact, if I continue to run the way I have been, I should hit 500 miles by late October or early November.

I know that there’s always a chance that I’ll have a bad week or a bad month, as far as the running goes. But I already know that having this goal of running 500 miles is motivating me to get myself to the gym when I’m tired, and really, really don’t want to go. While it’s true that I skipped several workouts in February, I know I would have skipped even more if it weren’t for this goal. Because I think about that 10.4 that I want to hit each week, and I know that if I don’t go one night, I’m just going to have to put in more miles the next night.

So thank you, thank you to LauraC and Erin for inspiring me to run. I know that you’ll both (along with many others) beat me to that 500 mile finish line, but as long as I finish sometime this year, I’ll be quite pleased with myself.

Time to Clean Up, Uh-huh, Uh-huh

Tiny is usually great at cleaning up the toys in the kids’ room when it’s time for breakfast. But yesterday morning, it was Buba who cleaned up all the toys while Tiny talked on her purple, plastic phone…

All Tiny:

“Hello, Nammy? It time clean up.”

“Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Mess, mess, mess!”

“Time clean up.”

“No, no Daddy. No work day. No work.”

“Uh-huh. Uh-huh.”

“No Nammy bacation. Nammy home.”

“Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Clean up.”

“Ok. Yep. Ludoo. Bye-bye!”

I love that her pretend phone calls give me some insights as to what she’s understanding. She clearly knew it was time to clean up the big mess in her room, even though she chose not to help. And she understood that T wasn’t going to work that day and maybe that we’d be going to Grammy’s house now that she’s home from her vacation.

Her “Ludoo” at the end is her pronunciation for Love you.

Potty Training: 5 Weeks Later

It’s been about 5 weeks since we started potty training with Tiny. I know, for many, potty training is a process. I’ve read enough blogs to know that some kids take weeks, even months, before they really get the hang of it. Thankfully, that has not been our experience with Tiny. She has done extremely well, and I’ve had absolutely no regrets regarding ditching the diapers.

As you probably remember, we went with the three-day plan. Tiny had done very well in those first three days, but I was still very nervous about leaving the house. Would she tell me when she had to go? Would she use the travel potty I’d purchase? Luckily, the answer to both questions was yes. I can’t say that she hasn’t had a single accident since we ditched the diapers, but thankfully all but one has been at home. And all within the first week after our potty training weekend.

So, at five weeks out, we’re in a pretty good groove. If we’re at home, I don’t have anything to worry about. Tiny will independently go to one of her potties and use it without any prompting or help from me. Sometimes I don’t eve know that she’s gone until she comes up to me with her panties and pants in her hands, asking for help. Tiny is alway willing to sit on the potty before we leave the house, and 8 times out of 10 she’ll go at least a little. If we’re out and about, she’ll tell me when she needs to go. During the first few weeks, there were a large number of false alarms. Personally, I think she just wanted to get a look at the bathrooms of all the places we frequent. But we’ve had fewer and fewer false alarms in the last two weeks. On one occasion, when I was pretty certain that she did not need to go, I told her there was no bathroom where we were shopping, so she’d just have to wait, and she dropped the potty request instantly. (I now know that she’ll whine and cry if she really, really has to go.) Although she’s doesn’t get terribly upset when she has an accident, she takes great pride in being able to keep herself dry and clean all day.

But the cutest thing ever is how she cheers for herself when she uses the potty. As part of the training process, we gave tons and tons of praise (no M&Ms and very few stickers- but that’s for another post)- lots and lots of ” Yay!” and “You did it!” along with “Tiny went pee in the potty! Tiny went pee in the potty!” So now, when Tiny uses the potty all by herself, she takes her Abby Cadabby doll with her, and has Abby cheer for her and give her hugs and kisses when she’s all done.

And although Buba is still in diapers, and we’ve not continued any of the three-day techniques with him, he’s still very interested in Tiny’s use of the potty. Buba often comes with us when we empty Tiny’s potty into the toilet, and he still claps and cheers with the same amount of enthusiasm as he did on day one. Buba likes to sit (with diaper off) on the potty twice a day (first thing in the morning and right before bed), but hasn’t produced anything yet. When he gets up from his potty, he says, “Empty. No pee. I’ll try again later.”

So, what can I say. I’m pretty happy with how things have been going. I know that there can still be some bumps in the road. While Tiny wakes up dry from naps, she still very much needs a diaper at nighttime. And just because Tiny trained so easily doesn’t mean that Buba will as well. But that’s okay. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Buba

I’ve been calling my son Buba since the day he was born. I’m not sure why or how I determined that Buba would be my pet name for him, but it felt right. Of course, I do call him by his given name too. But until recently, I’d say 8 times out of 10, I’d call him Buba.

T calls him Bub sometimes, but most often uses his given name (which T chose). I don’t think it really bothered T that I call him Buba until Tiny started calling him Buba. Now, I don’t mind that Tiny calls him Buba (she can’t pronounce his given name very well), but it doesn’t sit well with T. So when Tiny says Buba, T will sort of correct her by repeating what she said, but replacing Buba with brother. Something like this:

Tiny: I see Buba running. Running fast.

T: Oh, you see brother running? Running fast?

I’m not sure how that makes the situation better. And I would rather that Tiny use Buba’s given name than call him brother all the time. So, I’ve decided to make it a point of calling Buba by his given name more often. But I’m not ready to give up Buba altogether. And I hope that’s okay.

p.s. Thanks for all the great snack recommendations.  I now have a few new things on the list for my next grocery trip.

(Un)Healthier Me: February Vacation

From 2004-2007, T and I spent every February vacation with his parents in sunny St. Maarten. His parents have a timeshare there, and it was because of their incredible generosity that we were able to enjoy such a heavenly tropical vacation in the middle of winter. For one week each year, we sat on the beach, sipping tropical drinks and enjoying the sun, sand, and water. We fell asleep to the sound of the ocean and woke to the warm breeze blowing through the balcony screen door. They were truly the most relaxing vacations ever.

But as you can see, that trend stopped the year I gave birth to Tiny and Buba. T’s parents continue to go and enjoy their timeshare (who could blame them?), while we stay home with our kids. It’s not that we haven’t been invited back. We have. But each year we’ve declined, feeling that we’d rather wait until it won’t feel like so much work to take a vacation.

But last week (which was this year’s February vacation week), we sure did eat as though we were on vacation. I can probably count on one hand the number of times we cooked a meal for ourselves. Instead we dined on take-out and left-overs. And my healthier me goals flew out the window. I did not make it to the gym 5 times, and I won’t even disgust you by listing all the non-healthy food choices I made.

While it seemed like fun at the time, I’m not realizing that I’ve got to find a way to get back on that healthy living horse again. Slapped in the face with the reality of gaining weight as a result of not eating right, I need to stop this downward spiral quickly before it gets completely out of control.

I tried getting right back to it on Monday, but there were still too many temptations around. And I felt sooooo hungry. I’m pretty good at sticking to healthy meals, but it’s the snacks that get me. I can only eat so many apples and yogurts.

So please, help me jump-start my healthier me plan by telling me some of your favorite healthy snacks. Perhaps if I can get the food part back under control, I can get back on the other tracks too.

23 Months Old

Dear Tiny and Buba,

It’s hard to believe that it’s been two months since my last toddler update. The past couple of months have been filled with lots of learning, growing, and experiencing new things.

The thing that amazes me the most these days is listening to you sing. You both have learned to sing quite a collection of songs (including The Wheels on the Bus, If You’re Happy and You Know It, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Row, Row, Row Your Boat, and more!). Although it’s not uncommon for either of you to burst into song while playing or riding in the minivan, I still find myself pausing to pay extra attention to your sweet, little voices. I especially love listening to you sing our version of My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean. I’ve been singing it to you guys since you were infants, singing your own names instead of Bonnie, and now you are singing it yourselves. You insert each other’s names, Mommy, Daddy, Grammy, and Paw Paw and laugh and laugh as you sing. You also love to sing the songs you’ve learned through Early Intervention (Hiding Hiding and All the Little Ducks), as well as a song we made up at home (Bye-Bye Mr. Cry).

You’ve both discovered the fun of pretend play. You like to use the Laugh & Learn Learning Home as you pretend to go off to work in the white car (our Corolla).You come to me and give me kisses as you announce that you are going to work. Then you wave bye-bye as you crawl through the door of the house and close it behind you. But only moments later, you burst through the door announcing that you are home and then the fun begins all over again.

The play kitchen you received as a Christmas present has also provided hours of fun. You both love to prepare meals with the plastic food and bring them to me for a tasting. The smiles on your faces when I say, “Yum! Yum!” are just priceless. And you love to use the phone from the play kitchen to call relatives and friends to chat about your day. You say, “Hello? Mmmhmmm, Mmmhmmm. Sit down and read books. Love you! B-bye!”

We’ve had several fun adventures at new places these last couple of months. We bought a multi-pass at a toddler gym, and you both enjoy climbing, running, and jumping in this playspace just for toddlers.

You also had a ton of fun at the gymnastics birthday party for your friends, and you especially enjoyed running and bouncing on the long trampoline and jumping into the pool of foam blocks.

Tiny, you are all about asserting your independence these days. You want to dress yourself, put on your own socks and shoes, and put away the toys you’ve claimed as yours. This can sometimes be a problem if we need any of these tasks to be done quickly, but your determination served us very well during our potty training weekend. At 22.5 months old, you decided, “No more diapers.” We devoted an entire weekend to helping you learn to use the potty, but you pretty much had it down in 5.5 hours. And it’s been smooth sailing ever since. What can I say? When you’re ready, you’re ready.

And finally, it is probably your language development that has continued to wow me the most. You’re constantly rehearsing and repeating the new words and phrases that you hear, and it’s usually not until I hear you say them that I realize you were listening when I thought you were ignoring me. And although we don’t have 100% accuracy, you’re getting pretty good at remembering events from our days and telling Daddy about the things we’ve done when we sit down for dinner. I know he enjoys this part of the evening very much.

Buba, you continue to make tons and tons of progress with both gross and fine motor skills. Although I don’t like to see it, you are building lots of strength as you practice climbing up and down our couches. You love to climb so much now, that we decided to move our Kangaroo Climber into the living room so you and Tiny would have something inside that is appropriate to climb. This climber keeps you busy for hours each day. You love to climb the steps on the outside of one side, and you climb through the big, round opening on the opposite side while hoisting yourself up to the platform at the top of the slide.

And your fine motor skill have improved dramatically. Just a few months ago, the Busy Poppin’ Pals toy was a major source of frustration. You wanted to make all those animals pop up, but you were only able to get the panda by pushing the big button in. Now you can slide, flip, turn, or push to make all the animals come up. It is so nice to watch you enjoy playing with that toy. And I love, love, love to hear you sing. You pick up new songs after hearing them just once, and I know if we could find a sing-along that lasted all day, you’d be in heaven.

It’s hard to believe that you’ll be turning two in just two more weeks (March 7th). The old expression is definitely true: The days are long, but the years are short.

Love you!

Mommy

Book Number Three

As of today, I have read exactly 3 books in the last 23.5 months that were not related to parenting. If I include parenting books, the number would certainly be higher, but not much over 10. I am always amazed when I hear other moms talk about the great books they’re reading. I have a booklist about a mile long, but I just can’t find the time to sit back, relax, and get lost in a great story.

So what have I read…

Book #1 (back in June 2009 (15 months after Tiny and Buba were born)): Not Becoming My Mother: and Other Things She Taught Me Along the Way by Ruth Reichl.

Book #2 (November 2009): For One More Day by Mitch Albom

And finally, Book #3 (December 2009-February 2010): Midwives by Chris Bohjalian

Book number three certainly took me the longest to get through, but I’m pretty sure I enjoyed it the most. It was assigned as my book club’s January book, but I only got through the first 100 (of 310) pages by the day we were meeting. I was determined to finish the book even after we’d discussed it (fortunately for me, no one had gotten through the entire book, so we mostly discussed the first half), but then it was due back at the library and it took me a while to go back for it.

But I finally finished Midwives last night, and I have to say, I’m so glad that I did. It is the story of a midwife who does home births. She is put on trial for performing an emergency c-section with a kitchen knife to save the baby after the mother is presumed dead. The prosecutor says the mother was not dead at the time and that it was the midwife who killed her by performing the emergency c-section. And so we are left to wonder, as we read through the story, what really happened the night that baby was born. The narrator of the story is the midwife’s daughter, who was 14 at the time the birth occurred, but is now all grown up. The story is told in a back and forth way, so that you get bits of what will happen later while you’re reading about events that occurred earlier. And sprinkled throughout are diary entries written by the midwife that tell a bit of the story from her perspective. I found Midwives to be extremely well written, and should I ever have the time, I would love to read other books by Chris Bohjalian.

Next up on my list is Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri. Given my track record, there’s a good chance I won’t finish it in time for the book club meeting on March 5th, but I’m going to give it my best shot. If I find it enjoyable, I’ll let you know.

p.s. I would definitely recommend Midwives to anyone out there who has the time for a good read, but not to anyone expecting a baby at the moment.